Redeeming Love

CHAPTER 14

SAM's POV :

Everything was going smoothly before this marriage stuff, but after grandpa  brought this
alliance, everything changed - my schedule, my behavior, my bond with my family, and most importantly, myself.

I know my nature has changed before, but when I got accustomed to it, it changed again.. It's not like I hate her, it's just that I didn't want to marry not only her but anyone.

Because I know I can't give her the love and care she really deserves, I just can't.. Even if I try I can't!! That's why I will fulfill the responsibilities only but looks like I failed in that too.

It sucks! Due to my past issues, I'm not able to get along with people now, and that's why I don't even have any friends the only friend I have is my lalice my little brother.

Of Course, I was running from this marriage. Just after our marriage  I went on a business trip, which was an excuse. I deliberately asked my PA to fix that trip.

I neither tried to talk to her nor did she and I was feeling like a bachelor only because I didn't spend a day with her. I even forgot I had a wife until mom and dad called me.
They asked about my well-being and asked me if I was calling her daily or not and to my surprise, before I could say something mom said that becky told mom that we were talking daily.

After that I thought alot and decided to go back home, but I was not able to initiate any talk with her. I wanted her to come to me first. It's not because of my arrogant nature but
because I don't have guts, call me silly but it is what it is.

I saw her trying but whenever I feel like now I can open up a little, things between us changed and she backed off, and we ended up back on the same track.

I didn't like her waiting for me till late at night, so on the very first day when she stayed and woke up for me I told her I don't need her help, I didn't want to be rude but don't know how
my voice came out rude that time due to which she stopped and start minding her work.

I always heard about her, whenever a family member  talked about her I listened very attentively without their knowing.

I also heard how gramdma sometimes mocked her for my absence and to be honest I felt bad, but grandma is not bad It just she wanted her grandson to be happy which I was not looking at
that time after all I'm the first grandchild so was her favorite one,

She understands me more than my parents. If  grandpa taught me disciplines then grandma taught
me business and family values.

She knew grandpa forced me which she didn't like but grandpa was adamant he didn't listen to
her for the first time which made her quiet, she said if her husband is this adamant then there must be a reason.

And then lali's marriage happened, I felt bad for not attending my brother's marriage
but what can I do?

She thought I didn't attend the wedding because I was avoiding her but
No! A Big No! She was wrong, I knew lalice must have invited his old college mates from where he did his Masters, the same place from where I did, he came to London for his master's  I also did my bachelor's from there. When I was in last year he was in his first but
he was very good with his seniors that time so I know he will invite them also and I was not ready to face any of them.

After his wedding, when grandpa and I had a talk in which only he was talking, it actually made me understand.

When he told me so many things that day I felt bad I really felt bad for her, because of me she is staying like this, she is not at all related with my past then why I am punishing her?,
and then her birthday, Ohh that girl doesn't even like celebrating birthdays, and when I asked her the reason and what she told me made me more guilty, yes I know something is
wrong she really avoided telling me the main reason but I didn't force her.