songs for the fallen

chara's grudge.

Chara
_____

 Tetris. What a liar. It heard every word of that. It should've helped them, should've tried to calm them down like it did last time, but its voice would've shaken too much even just in the back of their head. Because it knows what happens next. It knows what Sans meant when he asked them if what they had to do was really worth it. He thinks they're going to kill the King. He thinks they know they have to kill the King.

Now it wants to play Tetris just so it doesn't have to think about it anymore.

But the thing about the fountain is still bothering them. It wasn't there when they were alive. Royal Memorial Fountain. Built 201X. The year they died. The year their brother died. Mettaton added last week.

Is he...

No way.

No way.

This is it. This is how they're going to deal with it! It doesn't have to focus on how it's lying to Frisk, on how it will inevitably have to betray them, how the way they yelled at Sans was so familiar it could've sworn it was the one speaking. They know that robot! They knew they recognized him! They knew his voice was familiar under all that static and fuzz! Alphys said she built him, a robot with a SOUL, and while they don't doubt that he has a SOUL, they're pretty sure Alphys didn't make it. Because they know that voice. They know that attitude. They know that smell.

Smells like Mettablook.

That little...! Not only did he cheat them out of ten gold at Thundersnail a hundred years ago, but now he's defacing the fountain they're certain was made in honor of their brother? They could name a good ninety-nine things this is, and preposterous is on that list at least three times. How did they not realize? How did it not cross their mind why beneath the smell of metal and magic, that stupid calculator reeked of snails? They knew Alphys was lying about something. They have no doubt that she's very intelligent--it takes quite a deal of brainpower to build a robot like that, and Chara knows well that people with messy desks often have the most vibrant minds. But intelligence does not preclude lying. They barely knew him in life. They're sure he wouldn't even recognize them if he saw them--if there was any part of them to see. He gave them his name (though they suppose it must not be his name anymore), but they never gave him theirs. He didn't know their status. He was just a passing face. A passing face who cheated. A passing face who they will remember for the rest of time. A passing face who it's easier to think about than the ending they'll be marching towards again as soon as Frisk wakes up. For now, they think about him. They think about the fountain. They think about the statue in Waterfall, the music box playing their brother's theme. They think about the betrayal of his memory. They think about how it wouldn't have to be a memory if it weren't for them. If it weren't for it.

It sighs, hovering at the side of the cushy hotel bed, watching a single brown curl of Frisk's hair flutter up and down as they breathe. It wants to protect them, but it knows it can't. It can't save them. But if it lets them go, lets them walk right up to the King without knowing the truth, it can save what is left of its family.

Their family.

They can afford themself that much. They are a liar. Their brother is dead because of them. They are leading Frisk to their death, and even though they know it's for the greater good, the thought of being there at the end turns their stomach. The thought of a light as bright as Frisk's being extinguished seeds blisters in the back of their throat. They are responsible for everything that comes after this.

But they are still their mother and father's child. They are still their brother's sibling. They are still everything that they were when they were alive. They still owe their family that debt. They will not let it go unpaid.

They will save their family. That is the point. That is the point of this all.