Gillaume Men #01: Ranzar Craestok

CHAPTER 12: Temporary and New

~ Ranzar Craestok ~

"For how much longer do I have to wait here with you Mother", I asked as I waited for my mother to finish whatever cloth she was fitting.

Right now, I have been forced by my dearest mother to go out to one of her department stores to shop for an outfit. And now, I'm waiting outside the fitting room, looking at some boring catalogs. I then heard a small sound coming from inside the fitting room.

"Darling, I want you here so you can have fresh air and to help me find a dress. Besides this is good for you, your therapist said so", Mother said as the saleslady slowly helped her out.

"What do you think darling, does it look good on your mother?" She asked as she moved side to side in a mirror, showcasing a silver sequenced dress.

"Yeah", I answered borely, as I knew my mother could manage to make any dress she wore look great.

"Really? Well, I guess so", she paused and turned to look at the saleslady "I want to try the teal one", she announced, and the two salesladies in the room went out and fetched the teal dress.

Mother went back to the fitting room again, and I continued to lie my head down in my seat. And as Mother mentioned, this may be good for me, I get to be outside. Though it's in a closed room with just Mother a one saleslady around, I'll count it as going outside.

I was feeling relaxed already and slowly closing my eyes when I heard some whispers and murmurs. Maybe it was the other workers getting ready, so I didn't mind it. But then it becomes louder. 

As if it's ringing inside my head. I don't know whether it was in my imagination or not but I became more aware of my surroundings. The room we were in suddenly began to expand and I just felt so small and little.

I haven't been outside for a while and this is the cost of it, this new space and environment felt so overwhelming and I feel so squeamish anywhere I look. I tried to control my breathing and tried to drink it off but I noticed it even more. 

I felt my breath become erratic and I felt so uncomfortable, as if something was preventing me from breathing properly, as if there was a tight noose circling in my neck. I reached for the collars of my shirt and tried to breathe properly, but it didn't work.

"Darling, are you alright", I snapped back as I saw my mother, with a worried look on her face and already wearing the teal dress.

"Yeah. I'm fine Mother", I replied. Mother then walked towards me.

"Sorry for pushing you to come with me", she said as she sat beside me and placed a hand on my shoulders. "Why don't you and Vincent head back to the car, I'll finish picking a dress soon anyway", she added.

"It's alright Mother, I'm fine", I weakly said.

But she asked the saleslady to call Vincent who was guarding us and he entered the room. I stood up and fixed my clothes and we walked out of the room. Vincent guided me to an employee's passage so that few people would see me. As we reached the parking lot, I entered the car and slowly took deep breaths.

I thought that maybe I would be fine since I can normally interact with Laurent, but I guess going outside is one hell of a leap for me. From being so distrustful of people to suddenly being around them. It is a leap that I didn't see coming and jumping over. 

My breaths became normal after some while, and I finally relaxed a little. Vincent stayed outside the car as his familiar that if I have this experience, I need to be alone.

We waited for my mother and when she arrived and entered the car, she checked on me.

"How are you darling? Are you breathing okay now?" Mother said with a worried look on her face.

"Yes, I am fine now Mother", I replied and somehow it brought relief in her, which I'm grateful for.

"Alright then, why don't we have lunch at one of Octavius' restaurants? I heard that he had another one opened not long ago nearby", she suggested and I just nodded. Vincent then started the car and we drove away.

Several minutes passed as we drove away from the department store and the car ride was silent. But I know and feel that Mother has something she wants to say or even rant to me. So for today, I initiated. It is also to distract myself.

"What is it, Mother? You seem to have something in your mind", I said and the woman beside me turned in my direction.

"Did you know that Julli is going to the charity ball with Roswell", she began and I was immediately stunned.

Laurent and Westbrook, together.

Then I remembered Vanderson mentioning something about Westbrook flirting with a blonde girl staying at their hotel. Then I guess that woman would be Laurent.

"And what is the issue with that mother?" I replied, resting my head on the car's headrest.

"Nothing in particular. I actually liked it, but I felt defeated that Sophia beat me to it", she then paused and sighed. Mother always had this one-sided friendly competition with Westbrook's mother that I can't even fathom to comprehend.

"I just thought that I'd be the one to convince Julli to attend, you know. But I guess given the player I have on my side, I shouldn't have expected anything in the first place", she continued as if taunting me for some reason.

What me and Laurent have is a casual and civil partnership. Once she's done with me, she'll get whatever my mother promised her she would get, and I get to be left alone in my space. Mother shouldn't expect anything from that, especially when she knows that both me and Laurent understand boundaries. Or maybe only one of us.

I gave her a sigh. "Why did you even expect anything, Mother?" I replied, not even glancing at her.

"I know. I shouldn't have. But still, you two would have been a wonder to look at at the charity ball. I feel like you two would shine like a thousand stars together", mother said and looked at me.

She then continued to give whatever more reasons why she thought me and Laurent would've looked at the ball, but personally, I didn't care what I looked like at that ball. What I would rather enjoy is teasing Laurent about how she got the attention of that woman-avoider Roswell Westbrook. 

But deep inside me, there's a strange feeling. It bangs and irritates me for some reason, thinking that Laurent would be enjoying the ball with another and not with me.

I tossed that feeling and thought aside since I knew, I shouldn't feel that to someone. Especially to someone temporary and new. I should know better by now, that meeting someone new is never good for someone's life.

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