The Search

        "We did it, Bails!" Sophie shouts giddily, "We graduated!"

        I turn to look at my friend. Her brown curls are frizzy and unkempt, loose and wild like her personality. Her sun kissed face glows with excitement, brown eyes reflecting the pride and joy in her heart. In her right hand, she clutches her decorated graduation cap. 

        As soon as the ceremony ended, she had thrown open her graduation gown, complaining about the heat. Now, I can see a sliver of the jeans and top underneath as she bounds across the front lawn of the school and grabs my wrist.

        She soundlessly drags me through the swarm of people, leading me to a small crowd. Although I want to celebrate this moment, I don't have the time to spare. I need to find him before he leaves. I have something important to give him. Something that means a lot to me. I have to give it to him now, or I may never get this chance again.

        I can hear my mom's laughter and Aaron's loud, booming voice. It sounds fun and, for a moment, I let my mind wander. I don't really need to see him now. I'm only paranoid that he'll leave, and I'll lose the chance to invite him to my party. I just graduated, as did he. I should be celebrating.

        I take a confident step in the direction of my family and friends, heart fluttering in anticipation. I'm practically floating, letting Sophie take me where she wants to go. Where I want to go.

        As we draw nearer, the fluttering in my chest starts to ache. It spreads across my collar bones, crawling up my neck. Until my whole body thrums in excitement. My fingers twitch, my feet become lighter, my head clears of all thought. I feel the smile tugging at my lips, becoming wider with each step towards my family.

        That's when I remember.

        The present. I have to give him the present. He's leaving once the graduation ceremony is over, abandoning this small town for university.

        I'm suddenly aware of the heavy weight tucked under my arm, and I clutch the box. Pulling my hand away from Sophie's, I step back, ignoring the surprised look on her face.

        "I...I have to go real quick," I stammer, breathless. The aching starts to hurt, the thrumming loud and pounding in my ears. "I'll meet back up with you later. Tell Mom I just went to see an old friend."

        Sophie nods slowly. I see the question clear in her eyes, but it'll have to wait. I'll explain to her once I do what I need to.

        I turn and push into the throng of graduation gowns and blouses. All around me, there's the sound of excited chatter and yelling of "congratulations". The world seems to slow down, everyone and everything blurring together into a mass of colors and sounds.

        I elbow my way through the crowd, desperately searching for his face. Everyone's words have long since begun to slur, loud yet incomprehensible. I'm all too aware of the time quickly passing by. The panic and desperation squeezes my lungs, sweat beading along my forehead. I try to hold onto the tiny voice in my mind, repeatedly whispering, Find him.

        Holding the box close, I continue my search, peering into everyone's faces. My heavy feet carry me all across the campus, eyes flitting about, when I notice a familiar figure.

        Even with their back turned, the unmistakable broad shoulders give away their identity. Their thin, bony hands rake through the tangle of black hair on their head, shoulders shaking as they tip their head back in laughter. The cheerful laugh travels to the place I stand, a hearty guffaw that resonates in my head.

        He's right there. The boy I've been searching for. I found him.
        For the first time this day, I relax, shoulders slumping as the tension leaves my body. But it's not over just yet.

        I slip pass the last few people, eyes set on his lanky form, and wrap my arms around his slim waist. Standing here, with my cheek resting between his shoulder blades, my racing mind finally calms down. The throbbing dulls to a steady beat and the heavyweight lifts off my chest. Air fills my lungs, and I'm once again able to breathe normally.

        "Jamie." I whisper shakily, burying my face into his black dress shirt. I breathe in the familiar scent of cologne and smoke, feeling the silk under my skin.

        He makes a surprised sound, his back muscles flexing as he twists to see who's behind him.
        "Bailey?"

        His silvery voice is musical and light, a pleasant ringing in my ears. It's not too loud, yet not too quiet. A perfect blend that speaks volume every time it's used. Just his voice alone sends years of memories flashing in my mind. As each one flies by, I fully grasp the realization that this may be the last time I'll see him.

        I let go, allowing Jamie to turn around. Once we're face to face, he regards me carefully. His eyes dart down to the box under my arm and I hold it out for him to see.

        My heartbeat quickens as Jamie hesitantly grabs the cardboard box. Behind him, his curious friends watch our exchange, but they aren't nearly as important as this moment. The moment I've been waiting for. The moment I planned for weeks.

        Jamie turns the box over, lightly brushing at the black ribbon concealing the contents inside. I didn't wrap the box. I felt it was too much for something so trivial. Besides, I'm sure Jamie will appreciate the beauty of the dark blue box. After all, it was his favorite color.

        "I filled the box with your favorite comics," I explain quietly, almost wistfully. "And some of the Game Boy games you told me about. There are some other things, too, that you like. This is my thanks for...everything. I really appreciate the time we spent together during our school years."

        I wish we could've gone back to what we were. I almost ask him, the question right on my lips. But this moment feels so fragile. I can't say the wrong thing. We are over and have been for a while now. We left on decent terms, but it's no secret how hurt it left us. 

        I fiddle with the gray envelope in my hand, desperate to confess. Instead, I hand him the envelope. His name is signed in pen on the outside. 

        Jamie takes the invitation, flipping it over and examining the other side. He looks at me in question.

        "I'll probably never see you again after this," I shrug, heart aching. "So, I was wondering if maybe you could come to my graduation party? If you'd like, I mean."

        A smile stretches across Jamie's face, tilting his lips and making his eyes gleam happily.

        "I would be honored to attend your party, but–" For a second, I'm scared he's going to decline. Jamie reaches for his back pocket, revealing an invitation of his own. "–only if you come to mine this Saturday?"

        I grin, taking the white envelope. My name is written in pen on the front. "I'll be there."

        "Promise?"

        I laugh and this moment no longer feels fragile. It feels like home. I look up at Jamie, at his brown eyes and his amused smile. I answer honestly, "I wouldn't miss it for the world."