wordsmith's manuscript

Chapter 10

-Sorry, my love, but if I don't leave now, I won't make it to work on time.

-It's okay, mom, go to work, I'll take care of this, okay?

She kissed my cheek, picked up her plate, and hurried upstairs to finish getting ready.

As for me, I wasn't in a rush. It was Saturday, early afternoon, what else could I do besides mope or write? Well...

And, as expected, seconds later she was out the door, saying goodbye to me again. Alone at home...

I took one last bite and leisurely cleared the table. I rushed to my room just to put some music on my record player, everything is better with music.

I stored the food in the fridge and started washing the dishes, occasionally snapping my fingers to the beat or tapping my foot to the rhythm. Every now and then, I even swayed my shoulders and laughed at myself. I glanced out the window, a strangely beautiful day, cold but cloudless, with an open and blue sky, interesting.

I dried my hands on the towel and leaned against the counter, staring at a black and white photograph of myself, my mom, and my sister... Does she realize how much she is missed in this world? Does she even know that she was the best person I ever knew and had? I wish I could have one last conversation with her and tell her how amazing she was, thank her for keeping me alive and helping me through my worst. It seems that... the more we love someone, the less we show it, the less we talk about it. I always knew my sister would be by my side, when I was bored, I would knock on her door and find her almost always playing the guitar. I would lie down next to her and complain about not feeling creative. We would run around the garden, watch TV, and play. We even danced together, argued, laughed; we were siblings, we are siblings... And I realized she was gone when I knocked on her door and got no response, when I entered her room and didn't smell her sweet perfume, when I sat on her bed and didn't hear her complain because "she had already made the bed and I was going to mess it up." Or when I looked at her guitar and didn't hear the beautiful melodies she created. There is no greater pain than losing something we took for granted. She was a quick band-aid... But one that was ripped off before I was ready, and it took some skin with it. With her departure, a part of me also left, and I know that part will never be whole again. I'll just have to get used to living without her...

So, hoping she hears me, I looked at her portrait, a beautiful photo of her smiling, and whispered.

-I love you, sis. My favorite idiot. - I left a gentle kiss on her image. - I miss you so much...

I let myself slide down the furniture until I ended up on the floor, with my legs folded and wrapped around the frame.

-Oh, I love you so much, why did you have to go? Why did you run along the road, you who were always careful... Why... Why...

I felt a chill down my spine, which made me alert; my shoulders warmed up, almost as if someone was touching them, and somehow, her fragrance filled the room.

-You... Are you here? - I murmured, somewhat sentimental, but finding it ridiculous, she couldn't be here... - Are you really here?

I felt her, I can't explain it or see it, but I felt her, smelled her, and knew she was beautiful. I knew she was the most beautiful angel in paradise... I knew she was my sister, and I was proud to know she was my little sister.

-I missed you so much, - I whispered, already feeling drained, with a small smile and tears streaming down my cheeks. - Please, don't leave again... Don't leave me again...

***

-Hey?

I don't remember the song having a "hey" in it.