Over and Over

Frost

EL-BAAZ MANSOR,
KANO,
NIGERIA.

LAYLA'S POV

I watched him carefully, trying to decipher the emotions he hid behind his calm exterior.

He always looked composed, a man who carried a lot of expectations with a casual ease.

But tonight, there was something different about him.

His usual confidence seemed shaken, his eyes searched for something—something I  wasn’t sure I could give him.

The room felt smaller now, the walls pressing in on us.

I could feel my heartbeat quicken as I closed the door softly behind him, my back leaning against the wooden frame as if it could hold me up.

“What is it, Hakeem?” i asked, my voice softer than I intended.

He didn’t answer immediately.

Instead, he moved to the centre of the room, his hands slipping into the pockets of his embroidered kaftan as he glanced at the floor, then back up at me.

For a long moment, there was only silence between us, the unspoken truth of our situation hanging heavy in the air.

“I can’t do this anymore,” he finally said, his voice low but firm.

I felt my stomach drop, the words landing like a blow.

I had expected something serious, but hearing it out loud, hearing him say it, made it real.

I swallowed, trying to find my voice. “What do you mean?”

He let out a sigh, running a hand through his freshly cut hair.

“This… charade. Pretending we’re something we’re not. Smiling, laughing, acting like everything’s perfect when it’s far from it.”

His gaze met mine, and for the first time that night, I saw the exhaustion in his eyes.

“I thought I could do it. For our families, for everyone who believes in this… but it’s getting harder, Layla.”

My heart clenched at his words.

I had felt it too, the strain of pretending, the weight of living up to expectations that weren’t mine.

But i had never expected Hakeem to voice it, to admit that he was struggling just as much as I was.

“We don’t have a choice, Hakeem,” i said quietly, stepping closer to him.

“This is what you  wanted. What our families need from us.”

He shook his head, a bitter smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

“What about what you want, Layla? Do we even matter in all of this?”

I opened my mouth to respond but found that i didn’t have an answer.

I had never asked myself that question, and I never allowed myself to wonder what my life could be like if i wasn’t bound by the expectations of my family of society.

I had always accepted my role, accepted that my happiness wasn’t as important as the duty i owed to those who had raised me, and loved me.

But standing here, in this room with Hakeem, i felt the walls of that duty begin to crack.

“What do you want?” I  asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

He looked at me for a long time, his dark eyes searching mine.