salvation - f.weasley

The broken nose

crying lightning - arctic monkeys 

• • •

Wood's screams echo across the quidditch pitch and rings with the start of the training season for the Gryffindor team. The new team seems to be working well together for the moment, much to Oliver's delight.

"Oi, Weasley" Oliver shouts from his broom, "Careful with your strikes, uh?"

Fred, frustrated since his altercation with Grace last week, hits the bludgers with all his force to try to get out what's inside him. As a result, the bludgers fly at incredible speed onto the field and all the team give him confused looks.

"Save that strength for the matches, will you?" Oliver adds firmly and Fred just rolls his eyes before returning to his position.

Nothing has been going well for Fred Weasley since the start of the school year. Between Percy's betrayal and the summer at the Burrow, the fact that they can't tell anyone about the money Harry gave for their shop, the crazy Umbridge constantly on their backs, school's expectations which is starting to weigh him down more than anything else and, above all, oh above all, Grace Colten ; everything make the start of his final year not really a fun one.

He sighs at the sound of the whistle and tries to focus on the bludgers coming towards him.

But instead, he is haunted by the sound of Grace's little heels running down the hallway. By her voice betrayed by her tears, her despair. By her eyes which told him he had hurt her. 

Fred has gone too far, he knows it. Since the incident on the beach, he has gone too far. He should never have lost his temper, fled, left her alone that night.

He hits a bludger.

But it was stronger than him. He hasn't been able to control the anger inside him, the frustration with this woman he wants so much but who seems to flow through his fingers every time he gets a little too close.

He sends a bludger further and allows Alicia Spinett to score.

And since then, every day, every hours, the guilt has eaten him from the inside. The words she said to him that evening, lulled by the waves, are stuck in his thoughts and don't want to come out.

"My father is a monster who has been hitting my mother and me for as many years as I can remember."

He hits again as if he wants to get them out of his head.

"I spent a month and a half staring at the ceiling of my room, asking myself what I did to bloody deserve this."

Fred flies very fast now.

"He despises me. I disgust him."

He feels his heart shrinking in his chest.

"And if you can't understand that, then I'm sorry."

He understood. Of course he does. But the problem is that she doesn't understand. She doesn't understand how he can help her get through all that. How he wants to save her. To be close to her. To hold her when she can't sleep, to be there to capture the rare times she's smiling, to support her. To understand that she doesn't have to do this alone.

Fred hears shouting on the pitch but way too focused on his thoughts, he keeps flying and hitting bludgers.

That night, he should have stayed with her. He should have taken her in his arms, made her feel safe, telling her she's okay now, that he won't ever let her go back there.