"Don't Cry" Part I

-6- New Life

I was in 3rd grade now. I warn you, this point is where the darkness and sickness that has ever existed in my life origins. We're moving away from the little white house full of my memories across the street from my church. Student at Quest Academy, I was excelling in academics as a result of being taught at a private school before. It was Saturday, I knew what that meant: moving day.

I hopped into my Mom's Cadillac CTS. She got it the night of Daddy's burial. I slept on the way to the new house. The next thing I saw was Noey tapping on the window telling me to get up. I yawned " We're here?".

"Yes, get out of the car." Mom answered.

I opened the car door, and stepped out to view the property. It was nice. I saw Daddad in the driveway talking to a man, and by him was a little girl maybe a few years younger than me with white blonde hair of medium length. She must be his daughter because she was hiding behind his leg, she was shy. She waved at me, I waved back. "Oh yay, I have a new friend already!" I thought...but I had no idea of what was to come.

I'll let you have a glimpse into the

future:

I locked the bathroom door behind me. I planned to make my movements very slowly to prevent making any noise and seeming suspicious of something...my grandparents were right downstairs. I grabbed a washcloth from the closet, making sure it wasn't white. Instead Chocolate Brown, I slowly closed the closet door, set the cloth on the sink counter and turned the tap on. I looked in the mirror. I saw a face too pretty, that was covered in black powder: the tobacco and cocaine mixture Gabriel had plastered onto my forehead and my cheeks. I took a deep breath. I closed my eyes before taking my blue jacket off, trying to avoid infection and any more pain."Take deep breaths, deep breaths.", I tried to calm myself, it hurt so bad. I threw my jacket onto the floor. I took 1 more very deep breath before I whispered "Here goes."

As I opened my eyes, I gasped in horror. I quickly covered my mouth to prevent anyone from hearing me. There was still fresh blood drizzling from deep scrapes in my skin. It hurt to move. There was blood around my torso and arms. It wasn't all mine. "Why do they do this?" I burst into tears, trying to keep it silent. I whispered very quietly in disbelief, "I want to be lifeless!" once more. I put my head into the sink, and started to cry, and cry, for the longest I have ever cried. I was absolutely horrified.

Absolutely...no...idea. At the time I just couldn't predict I would be going to my neighbors house everyday to try to commit suicide.

But that doesn't happen just yet.

After checking out my new room, I went to explore the backyard. Immediately as I pushed the door back, my jaw dropped. "Ohhh....my...."

There was a landfill next door. With 3 monsterous, main mountains of rubbish towering sky-high over the tall fence. Pizzas, T.Vs, toys, clothes, anything you could think of...and guns. And you thought your room was messy! "These people need to be on 'Hoaders: Extreme'." I told myself.

Just then Noey was calling me

from the front yard. "Our nice...and cleeean front yard." I muttered as I traveled back throughout the house.

"Come and meet your neighbors!" She plied. They smelled funny and both appeared to not have showered in 10 days. But that was no reason to be rude, "Nice to meet you!" I offered her my handshake.

"Hi! I'm Bethany!" She said, in the frailest, high voice. When Bethany shook my hand I had noticed the bones in her super-skinny arms were showing. She appeared to be starving, and she was.

Noey let us go hang out while the adults talked. It was so easy conversing with her, I didn't have alot of friends like that at the exact time. She eventually explained some of the reasons why her parents did not feed her. Her irresponsible parents were flooding in debt from pizzas and their only job is selling pot, "whatever that is" I thought. Another reason was that she had to work for her food by mugging strangers for their money, and she would receive nothing if she had been bad, which was apparently everyday. I felt so bad, and I wanted to help her. When she asked "Do you want to be my best friend?", I replied "Sure! Why not?". I thought I could help her, but I really couldn't, I was only 9.

Ok yeah, ...maybe I could've possibly said no, ...and maybe I should've. But hey, nothing was her fault, she was as stupid as I was. Ok wait well, she couldn't read, or write...or count...I'm going off-topic.

We made plans to hang out the next couple of days.