My Dark Scientist.

Noelani.

I wake up when I hear my favorite song playing and I smile happy that I atleast get to wake up to my favorite song even though my life is terrible. I get up and grab my obliterated iphone 11 off my ‘nightstand’ which is really just a stool I found by the garbage cans at my apartment complex embarrassing. I know I know don't judge me please but they really do throw some good and useful things out. I walked to my bathroom which is just a tiny little room that can only fit one person but it is enough for me it isn't like i have any friends or a boyfriend or anything I've never really had either before. I brush my teeth and hop in my shower bath combo thingy and rinse away the sleep and stress off my body. I hop out of the shower and wrap my pink peppa pig towel around myself then i just so happened to lift my head up and ended up catching my own eyes in the mirror one thing I always avoided was looking in the mirror I hated it because once I looked or even so much as glanced at my reflection i would be brought into a trance filled with self pity and disgust as I stared at my body I became more and more disappointed that I still haven’t lost weight i haven't eaten in a week and i'm still this fat unattractive pig. My second alarm goes off breaking from my trance only to stress me out ten times more when I realize that the alarm was my alarm I had set for when I had to be outside to catch the bus and here i was in all my fat squishy greatness still standing in my bathroom wrapped in a peppa pig towel. I run to my bedroom to put my clothes on and slide a pair of hot pink sweatpants and the matching hot pink hoodie I got with it. I rush to my bin with my shoes in it and snatch my pair of pink bubble slides. This was by far my best outfit I had went school shopping last week which really consisted of 2 sweat suits from goodwill and school supplies from dollar tree nothing fancy just your average on the verge of poverty stuff but I've learned not to sulk in my issues but to embrace them because there is always someone out there that is in a worse situation than you. 3 loud honks break me from my trance and I run to the window to see my bus closing its doors and driving off.  ‘Wow just great’ I say stressed even more. I grab my stuffie as I'm feeling myself start to regress. “What are we gonna do now maggie?” I say to my stuffed froggie. Maggie is my only friend. She's been my friend since I was 10. My daddy gave her to me when he left because my mommy was mean to him. I clutch Maggie in my hands and grab my Disney backpack to start my journey to school. I rush out of the door of my rundown apartment and make sure to lock my door even though there is a gap in my door frame that an arm could easily slide through but I guess I do it to feel normal. I wobble down the stairs trying to be careful not to step on any yucky needles because I don’t wanna get sick duhh. I make it out to the sidewalk and i start walking to school but mid walk i realize that i have no idea where my school is so I reach for my phone to search for directions when I also remember that I don’t even have service my phone is off so i can only use it to call the police now i'll have to walk to mcdonalds to use their wifi what a lovely morning right? I arrived at McDonalds and the warm smell of coffee and burgers hit my nose. Others would say it's a disgusting smell combination but when you are poverty stricken any and I mean ANY kind of food smells like heaven. I walk over to the chair farthest to the back and sit to search for the directions after a while of doing math. I estimate that it will take me an hour to get to my school from this McDonalds and I am not loving the idea of walking for an hour too much right now. After 10 minutes of convincing myself that walking this hour to school will pay off when I finally get to where I want to be in life. I get up and stroll out of the macdonalds and onto the sidewalk i make the stupid decision to speed walk half of the way so by the last half of the walk im tired and heaving then i remember i have asthma it's been so long since i've had an asthma attack that i literally forgot that i even had asthma. I take a second to breath and calm myself when my school comes into view because i can’t afford an asthma pump and i don’t have insurance because i don’t know how to even get it nor do i know my social security number thanks to me only being 16 and also big thanks to my parents abandoning me without even teaching me how to live on my own. So now I'm just here living. I make it into the school building and almost faints when the rush of cold air hits me. It felt so good like a gallon of ice water in the desert. I made my way to the front office to enroll myself but the enrollment process was more of judging looks and pitiful stares than of getting me enrolled in school. The lady finally gives me my schedule and I'm confused. It only has one class on it? I don't know much but i dont think it's normal for a highschool to only have one class for the entirety of the day. The office clerk must've read my puzzled expression because she says “It's a new standard one class per student” as if that makes me any less confused but I just leave the office and head to my designated place. Update I'm currently lost. I have no idea where I am right now. I don't know how to get back to the office and I'm just way too nervous to ask for help. “Get to class without roaming the halls!’ I hear a voice boom through the halls. I turn and I'm met with an old man no older than 70. “I-i-i'm new h-here and i d-don’t know where m-m-my class is” I say, cursing myself for stuttering and making a complete fool of myself. The old man’s eyes soften as he puts his hand out “Hand me your schedule” he says softly. I hand him my schedule and he says “ah Mr. Amatulli is a real stickler if you ask me” oh nooo i hope he's just overexaggerating i don't want to be stuck with a meanie for the rest of the school year i just can't let my feelings get hurt way too easily. He begins to walk off and seeing that he still has my schedule I assume he wants me to follow him so I begin wobbling behind him and then we turn a corner and he abruptly stops and points to a class a little down the hall. “There is his class right there room 340” he says his voice filled with hate. “Okay t-thanks sir” I get out before walking to the classroom i lightly knock on the door before a bright Ms. Frizzle looking woman opens the door. It was at this moment I would have fainted due to embarrassment. It was the wrong class. How could that teacher lie to me? Well, maybe he just had a brain fart. Now I'm standing in the doorway all embarrassed. “Hello sweetie, are you here” she asked, so I said “y-y-yes ma'am” and I said “hand me your schedule.” she says. I hand her my schedule and she examines it and exclaims “Alrighty darling looks like you're in her with me until Mr. Amatulli arrives” I like her voice a lot. It's very warm and southerny. I stroll into the classroom with my head down to avoid the gazes of the class as much as possible. I walked to an open seat in the back of the classroom and began to color in my coloring book. “Why is this fat bitch in my seat!” I hear a loud screech come from the door. Oh no oh no oh no oh no. Im new here and already managed to make someone mad on my
FIRST DAY. I curse myself for being so stupid. I get up to find a seat but the only other open seat is at the front of the classroom. I start to walk to the other seat when I feel someone grab my arm. I turn around and I am met by the coldest blue eyes I've only ever seen on tv in superhero movies. “And where do you think you're going fat bitch?” she asks me, leaving me self conscious and scared. I dont reply, instead i look for the teacher only to find her totally aware of the situation unfolding but instead of helping me she just watched as if it were a mystery thriller drama movie. “Go sit over there on the floor like the slave you are black bitch” She says, I instantly feel tears burning at the back of my eyelids and a large lump in my throat. I silently walk to the back of the classroom to sit on the floor while self loathing and cursing myself for not defending myself. I've always wanted to be the bold outgoing girl who stood up for everything she believed in but one problem that wasn't me at all i always let people run over me i've always seeked validation and approval from others i always wanted to fit in i never wanted to confront people i always wanted people to like but it never worked people just used me to take their anger out on. I plop down down on the floor defeated as everyone laughs at me. Over laughing I hear keys jingling outside then as if on cue everyone goes to do their work or pretending to be quiet and busy. The door swings open and in walks a man, a very scary one to be exact. He wore a black suit and he had tattoos on his neck and his aura just screamed dangerous and bitter. Just great now, not only is my teacher intimidating, my classmates are too. I think I'm going to just drop out and continue to live in poverty or maybe become a drug addict because they always seem to have a better time than some of the richest people in the world. He walks over to his desk and then I see his eyes wander off to the corner of the classroom in which I am sitting and chills run down my back because his eyes are black literally pitch black almost as if he isn't real or as if he isn't alive. He massages his head with his finger before averting his gaze back to me then he gets up and walks towards me and now I'm full on pooping my pants because this man is literally taking humongous strides towards me and he looks like he kills people for a hobby. (If only you knew how bad you would eat these words if only you knew). "Who are you?" he asks coldly "n-noelani" I say frustrated at how much my mouth has failed me today by stuttering "why are you in my class?' he asks emotionlessly  "i-i-im n-new here a-and this is m-m-my class" I wanted to crawl into a whole and die at this exact moment " why are you sitting on the floor?" he asked me. I can’t bring myself to answer this question because I immediately catch a glimpse of the blue eyed girl glaring at me and mouthing the words 'don't say anything’ to me. And guess what I did? I didn't say anything. Oh how I hate myself. Mr. Amatulli turns around to face the class as if he's following my gaze. I immediately stopped looking at the girl afraid that my eyes would snitch. He storms over to the girl and I curse myself once again for the 100th time today for being such a baby. "Do you know why my new student is sitting on the floor because judging by the look on your trashy little face I don't think it would be a reach to say you're the reason she's on the floor" he says coldness radiating off of his tone. I wonder if it's even legal for a teacher to talk to a student like that but according to his looks I don't think he regards the feelings of other people or the law. "No, I don't know why she's on the floor," she says lying.