I want you I need you

last day of being myself

Being an introverted girl, I observe all the dirt of this world from the inside. I'm a nerd who always dreams of being the heroine of her own story but ends up feeling like a lifeless extra. Funny, right? And a bit sad too.

Hey, I'm Aruhi. In my family, I'm the unloved child, except for my parents. They think I'm dumb, and maybe I am, at least in their eyes. I'm a dancer, or at least I'm struggling to be one. God didn't bless me with talent, but I'm challenging His plans every day.

Since childhood, I've been through a lot. By "dirt," I mean I've been sexually abused, used, and blackmailed. You might be wondering what kind of girl I am. Well, that's a brief glimpse of my life.

I hate going to college. People there always judge me, and I despise that place. Sometimes, I feel even my friends judge me. My life is sprinkled with salt, but let's move on.

I quickly took a shower, got ready with a touch of makeup to put on a mask of happiness, and left for college. I gathered with my friends.

Let me tell you about my friends: Kaavya, Mohan, and Jan. They are my best friends, but it's complicated. Yes, friendship can be complicated.

We were sitting at the back, waiting for our lecture to start. We're all studying BPA in Dance. After all the exhausting lectures, we went to the canteen to relax with some good food and gossip.

As we sat there, I couldn't help but feel a sense of unease. The canteen was bustling with students, laughter, and chatter filling the air. But amidst all this, I felt like an outsider. Kaavya was animatedly talking about the latest dance routine she had perfected, while Mohan and Jan were engrossed in a debate about the best classical dance forms.

I tried to join in, but my mind kept drifting back to my struggles. The constant pressure to prove myself, the fear of being judged, and the haunting memories of my past. It was overwhelming.

"Hey, Aruhi, are you okay?" Kaavya's voice broke through my thoughts. I forced a smile and nodded.

"Yeah, just a bit tired," I replied, hoping they wouldn't press further.

After a while, we decided to head to the dance studio for practice. Dance was my escape, my sanctuary. As soon as the music started, I felt a sense of freedom. The rhythm, the movements, everything felt right. For those few moments, I could forget everything else.

But reality always has a way of creeping back in. As we practiced, I noticed a group of students watching us. Their whispers and glances made me self-conscious. I stumbled, losing my balance.

"Focus, Aruhi," I told myself, trying to regain my composure.

The day dragged on, and by the time I got home, I was exhausted. I collapsed on my bed, staring at the ceiling. My mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. I knew I had to keep pushing, keep fighting. But sometimes, it felt like an uphill battle.

As I drifted off to sleep, I made a silent promise to myself. No matter how tough things got, I wouldn't give up. I would keep dancing, keep challenging the odds. Because deep down, I knew that one day, I would be the heroine of my own story.