fake it 'til you make it - cairo x cc

14: i'm the problem..?

Cairo's POV

The rays of sunshine through the open window wake me up, and I can't help but softly groan.

Wait. Where am I?

As I'm trying to look around to recognize the room, I can feel two arms wrapped around me from behind, tightening their grip on me upon my movement.

Cc.

All at once, the missing puzzle pieces in my head come flooding back. I'm in Cc's room. In her parent's house in California. Right.. We went to Cc's parents for the weekend and her brother's birthday. We arrived yesterday and we will leave again for university sometime tomorrow. We ate with her parents.

We had sex..

A faint smile grazes my face at the vivid memory of watching Cc climax. A sight I never thought I'd see, but I'm genuinely not disappointed. If anything, I think she's even more beautiful now.

Cc's torso is tightly pressed against my back, smothering me with physical affection. But her heavy, yet steady breathing tells me that she's still asleep.

My eyes get heavy again, and I have to admit that I'm still a bit sleepy. Softly nuzzling myself further towards the girl behind me, I smile contentedly. For a moment, everything seems to be completely fine.

That is, until I remember the last thing that happened the previous night. What Cc muttered under her breath when she assumed I had already fallen asleep.

There goes my idyllic morning.

What the hell have I gotten myself into?

I'm leveling here for a moment. We're well past the point of denying my attraction towards Cc: I might don't like it, but I sure as hell have a crush on her. That means I should be thrilled to hear she feels the same way.. right?

But I'm not. Because even if I like her (which I do), I never planned to act upon it. She wasn't even supposed to know. And not because I don't want to be with her, no. If anything, Cc is the only person I want to see every single day in a row for the rest of my life.

The problem is.. me.

I haven't even spent 24 hours with Cc's family and I already know for a fact that she deserves better than me. Coming from a family where they even as much as eat together in the evening, ask about their kid's day, Cc and Wyatt play-fighting.. it matches Cc's personality so good. She's a family-person through and through.

And well, I can't give her that. I could never take her to a family dinner at my house - that is if we even held family dinners. I could never introduce her appropriately to my parents or make her feel even remotely welcome in my family.

For me, technically, this isn't an issue. The only thing I share with those people is one last name. They say 'blood runs thicker than water', but let's cut the crap for a moment. Wether someone is you family shouldn't be decided by the DNA you share, but rather be determined via how much effort they put in, just as you do with friendships and relationships.

They don't just randomly appear because 'this is how it's supposed to be', no. You have to fucking show up and be there and support the other person in order to call yourself 'family'.

I can't remember a single time my parent's did any of that for me. They were away, all day every day. And when they were home, I wished they weren't. Honestly, I strongly believe that I would have been better off in an orphanage. The only advantage those people ever gave me was their money - though I was careful to never use too much of it.

Ever since my early childhood years, I have been a very modest kid. All I ever wanted was a notebook and a pencil, maybe a few books from our library, and, well, nice parents. Guess you can't have everything, right.