'' To be Liu Zhiyu was to be patient.
But he had been patient enough. ''
Can't change the weather, might not be forever
But if it's forever, it's even better
-BILLIE EILISH, BIRDS OF A FEATHER
He is okay with being unloved.
They refuse to accept...
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The past hour and a half he'd spent with the SEVONG Music Troupe generated the most precious memories Zhiyu had made in his entire life. And if he was to be completely frank, they were the only ones he considered to be worth remembering. Whether that was a tragic fact or a joyous notion, he wasn't sure, nor did he really care. For once, he felt happy. And that was all that mattered to him.
It was nearing six o'clock as he completed the commute back to his house, mind jumbled with an overwhelming amount of delight. He'd never gotten high before, but he imagined that this was what it felt like: floating as though he were weightless, lost in his own head from sheer exuberance. In fact, his thoughts were so clouded with jubilation that he failed to notice the foreboding presence of his elder brother standing on their front step until he was shaken out of his stupor by firm hands grasping his biceps.
"Holy shit—Zhiyu! Where the fuck have you been? Your school ended two hours ago!" Liu Hanhua paused, chewing anxiously on his lower lip as they stared at one another, both in some state of disbelief. "I've been worried sick, you know?"
At his brother's words, all of Zhiyu's happiness instantly evaporated, fizzling out and slowly becoming overwhelmed by deep rooted suspicion. Hanhua hadn't ever been mean to him, but they hadn't ever been close. Their interactions were akin to those of strangers, distanced due to the constant comparisons that their parents had pressured onto him. But even if there was no active bullying, his brother had never shown such concern for him before, which was precisely why Zhiyu chose not to text his family ahead of time to let them know he would be home late. He figured they wouldn't care, just as they never had.
So why is he now acting like a proper older sibling? Does he think that because we're in Korea, I'll suddenly forget the years he spent ignoring me?
The theory took hold of his rationale and in place of confusion, cold anger flooded through him like a tidal wave. He slapped his brother's hands away, practically shoving the guy to create some semblance of personal space between them. It was the first time he'd done something so unreasonable and rash, and he could see how Hanhua faltered from the whiplash of his patience snapping like a broken rubber band.
"You were worried? Hah—don't make me laugh!" He scoffed, crossing his arms as his fingers dug into his flesh, trying to suppress the frustration that was slowly threatening to boil over.
"Wha—what are you talking about? Of course I was! You're my 弟弟!"
"I was never your little brother. Just your shadow." He flashed a glare, completely dismissing the desperation in Hanhua's voice. "Stop pretending like you care after everything that's happened. We might have moved here because of your career, but it's my opportunity for a new life. Don't ruin things for me by trying to act like we're close enough for you to be concerned."
Zhiyu tried to push past his brother and enter their house but lithe fingers caught his wrist, holding him in place. "Wait, I just wanted—"
He ripped his arm out of Hanhua's grasp, causing the guy to stumble forward a little from the sheer force of the action. "Yeah, it's always about what you want, isn't it? God, Hanhua, I've never asked for anything from you before but please, just this once, listen to me and leave me the hell alone!"
