The Line Between Life and Death

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"I've never s-smoked before

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"I've never s-smoked before." He held the joint and lighter awkwardly, palms upturned and gripping each between thumb and pointer finger. I took a hit from my dab pen, coughing to conceal a laugh.

We were outside but close to the back porch, its dim light illuminating the highlights of Nate's shadowy form.

I reached out, grazing my fingertips against his as I regained control of the lighter. His proximity sent a buzz through my body, and I stepped closer. My sandy footprints were inches from his.

Despite my better judgment, I was enjoying having an excuse to be so close. Close enough to feel his breath on my bare shoulder. Tickling.

"I'll light it for you. Just inhale, okay?" I suggested and Nate nodded, tucking the joint in between his glistening lips. The crunchy click of the lighter's wheel set his face aglow and I admired the way that he pulled his first hit, eyes serious but cheeks puffed. It was cute. 

With a cupped hand to protect the open flame from the ocean breeze, I watched the gleam of his dewy, relaxing eyes, a lighthouse on the warm summer night.

"Easy, cowboy," I giggled. "I'd stop hitting a-and just hold that one in... Yup... 'kay, now exhale."

After a losing battle against it, Nate's body crumpled at the hip, consumed in a coughing fit. Bursts of violent smoke erupted from his contracting throat. 

"If you're coughin', it's workin'!" I coached, a smile dancing on my lips.

"That was... awful!" Nate whined and I laughed, remembering my first time.

"That's what I thought, too. Pearl and I both cried right after, if you can believe it! We swore we'd never do it again."

"Why did you? Do it again... I mean." Nate's curious voice was soft and I melted.

Nate is fucking baked.

"Well," I began through a poorly repressed smile. "I liked how I felt, I guess. Speaking of which, how do you feel?"

His red-ringed, dead-eyed stare would've been creepy if it hadn't been for the lazy grin dancing on his lips. He blinked at me slowly, still holding the air-snuffed joint in between awkward fingers.

"How do I know... if it worked?"

Oh honey...

"It worked. Now c'mon," I replied as I smirked at him, plucking the bud from his fingers and resting it between my lips.

As we walked, the beach transformed into a grey-scale field of disintegrated moon rocks. Liminal.

Earth felt thousands of miles away in that moment. Reality, too.

"What's the deal with the husband?" Nate pried after a few minutes of relative silence.

Ugh.

Luckily, I'd spent some time on my answer to that one and I'd found the one and only Get Out of Jail Free Card.

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