Guarding Her Silence

Chapter 10 - Shadows of Affection

Colet stood frozen after the words left her mouth, the weight of them hanging in the air like a loaded gun. "She is my girlfriend." The statement echoed in her mind as if it hadn't truly come from her. She had always been disciplined, methodical, precise—qualities that had defined her from the moment she first held a weapon in her hands. How could I have said that? Her chest tightened, but it wasn't from fear. No, it was from something far more dangerous. Something she couldn't afford.

For the first time in years, she had acted out of impulse—out of feeling.

Colet wasn't someone who acted by emotion. She had been trained to bury that, to leave no room for hesitation or weakness. That had been drilled into her head for as long as she could remember. In the world she came from, emotions were a liability, a crack in the armor that could lead to death. It had been her mantra for so long: never let anything personal interfere. Never allow anything or anyone to get close enough to compromise her.

And yet, here she was.

The realization gnawed at her, and she could already hear the voice of her father in her mind—stern, cold, and unrelenting. Vergaras do not falter. We do not act on feeling. To be anything less is failure. His words clawed at her, dragging her back to the rigid training she had endured as a child. The countless hours of discipline, the relentless pursuit of perfection. She had never allowed herself to slip before, never allowed her emotions to dictate her actions.

Until now.

Shit. The curse played over in her head. How had it come to this? She felt the fire of shame creep up her spine, accompanied by a simmering anger—anger at herself. She had failed, not in a mission, but in the very essence of who she was supposed to be. A professional, always composed, always in control. Yet, in front of Jan, with Jhoanna's presence looming beside her, she had slipped. Her grip on her own restraint had faltered.

Colet's fingers instinctively clenched into fists, her nails digging into her palms as if to remind herself of what she was. What she needed to be.

But the image of Jhoanna lingered, her soft smile, her unknowing eyes, the way she'd innocently come up to them, oblivious to the tense exchange between Colet and Jan. How could she have been so careless, so weak?

Weakness was never acceptable. Not to her, not to her family, and certainly not to her father. His disappointment, though unspoken, would be unbearable. "You've failed." The words weren't real, yet they might as well have been whispered right into her ear, an echo from her past that she could never escape.

Colet inhaled sharply, trying to suppress the rising storm of emotions within her. She glanced at Jhoanna, who was still beside her, entirely unaware of the internal battle Colet was waging. For a split second, she considered saying something to take it back, to undo the impulsive declaration she had made.

But what would be the point? The damage had already been done.

She blinked, forcing herself to maintain her usual stoic expression. The mission was still the priority—always the mission. Jhoanna's safety was paramount, and anything beyond that was a distraction. But even as she thought it, Colet knew something had shifted inside her, something she could no longer ignore.

As Jan walked away, Colet and Jhoanna were left standing in a quiet, tense silence. The hum of the party inside faded into the background as the night air settled between them. Jhoanna narrowed her eyes, curiosity sparking behind them.

"What were you two talking about?" Jhoanna, her expression a mixture of amusement and suspicion.

Colet didn't respond immediately, her hands hesitating for a fraction of a second. She finally signed back, "Let's go out for a bit. There are too many people in here." Without waiting for an answer, Colet turned and made her way toward the exit, her strides purposeful. Jhoanna, always intrigued by Colet's stoic and unreadable nature, trailed behind her through the crowd, eventually emerging into the cool night where luxury cars lined the lot like glittering jewels under the dim streetlights.