The Illusion of Us

Chapter 7: Untangling the Strings

Days drifted by effortlessly, and it almost felt like each one was brighter than the last with Felix. At the core of it, though, I could feel this dark cloud looming over our happiness. I tried to dig it down, to tell myself about the nature of relationships. It's not built on the joyful moments but on understanding, compromise, and all that comes in between. But then, every stillness weighed more with unsaid things, and I couldn't shake that feeling that something was happening right beyond my line of sight.

We had to meet again at the park on one Saturday afternoon when this place had become like a sanctuary for us. The air was warm, and the sun cast dappled shadows through the trees. However, today, that atmosphere around me felt different. I sat on a bench of this park, my heart fluttering with a mix of excitement and apprehension. Felix was running terribly late-which was unusual for him. I stared at my phone, looking at the time, a knot tightening in my stomach.

Finally, I saw him ambling towards me in the distance, jogging across the lawn with an enormous smile stretching from one end of his face to the other. As he drew nearer, my initial feeling of relief blended into that old tension that had been plaguing me lately.

"Hey! Sorry I'm late!" he said, plopping beside me. "I got caught up helping my mom with some errands."

"Everything okay?" I asked, keeping an eye on his expression. He glanced at me a bit too quickly, and his eyes flitted—maybe it was guilt?

"Yeah, yeah, just usual stuff," he waved a hand dismissively. "So what's the plan for today?"

"I guess we're just hanging out," I said halfheartedly. "We can grab ice cream later?" But inside of me was noticing how he sometimes seemingly a little distracted he seemed, often gazing off into space.

Yet, during our conversations, I found myself drawn to those fleeting moments he became distracted by some small instances. I, too, tried to forget all that was bothering me and concentrate more on his laughter and how so much space gets lit up with his smile. But as he kept cracking jokes and telling stories, it only made me believe that there has to be lots of deeper stuff in him which I hadn't revealed yet.

A few days passed, and I decided to visit my friend Talya after school. We often had such spontaneous meetings where we'd spend hours watching our favorite series and grumbling about life. She actually received me with a warm hug, and we settled very fast on the couch, having the popcorn in our hands.

"Okay, spill it," Talya said, gazing at me with that knowing smile. "You've been looking a little out of it lately."

I wrinkled my face, trying to find the right words for my concerns regarding Felix. "It's just. I feel like he's been a bit distant lately. Like, sometimes he zones out when we're together. I just can't help but think he's keeping something from me."

Talya looked troubled, furrowing her brows. She went from playful to serious. "Have you asked him about it?"

"I don't want to intrude on him. He's very private, and I respect that. But I just can't shake this feeling that something's off" I confided with my heart heavy inside.

"Elaine, if something doesn't feel right, then probably it's not. You deserve to know what's going on," Talya urged gently yet firmly.

"I know, but what if I'm overreacting? He's been so sweet and supportive," I muttered, running my fingers through my hair in frustration.

"Sweet and supportive doesn't mean he's not hiding something. Just keep your eyes open, okay?" Talya replied with a gentle nod. "If you ever want to talk about it, I'm here."