Lost & Found Hearts- GeminiFourth au

Lovin' can heal

Fourth's POV

         My heart is so full right now, I don't know how to figure out what I'm feeling. I don't know who I should tell about my feelings, I don't wanna feel this way, I don't wanna love anyone, I can't trust anyone either. Why is this happening to me again, he's... a great guy, a perfect one! anybody would be lucky to have him but then... why I don't feel good about him being with someone or anyone? and There is only one person that I can go to, my therapist!

       I booked an appointment and after a week of heavy heart, I'm finally gonna get some answers.

"Hello Fourth! If it isn't my favorite warrior then who is it! You've grown so much na!", Khun Arthit, my therapist greeted me.

"Hey, thankyou so much!", I said.

"So.... what is clouding your brain so much that you have to come to me?", he said very carefully while leaning back in his chair.

"You said that if I ever need answers, I should come to you, so yeah I needed answers.... to my feelings.", I said looking down.

"Shoot it! What is it? Hard to live? Hard to focus? Hard to.... love? What is it?", Dr. Arthit said with a smile.

"Umm... the third one! uhhh... This senior of mine confessed his feelings to me a week ago, he's great and all but I can't bring myself to trust anyone, I can't feel like I'll ever love someone again!", I told him.

"So this senior... is he a bad guy? He... ever reminded you of your past love? Is he not worthy of your trust!?", he questioned me.

"He's not a bad guy! He's been my friend for over a year, he's been very careful with me and he never tried to push my boundaries, and no actually, he never reminded me of him, he's nothing like him, but still I can't trust him!", I rambled on.

"So if he's a great guy and so good to you.... then how do you feel about him? Do you feel good about him, you ever felt anything for him? How would you feel if someone else would get him? Is there no way to give him some space in your heart? and... When you're with him... have you ever felt.... safe?", he again questioned so many things.

"I.... my stomach feels weird when I'm with him, he's very different with me than he is with others, he acts like I'm gonna break if something touches or hurts me, and you know... unlike other people he never touched me because he's so careful about my feelings, like he knows I get scared even if someone put their hand on my shoulder, he changed a lot or maybe came out of his shell in one year. He fought for me with a guy and he questioned him that why he made me cry, and how can he made me cry, it was like he believed that no one should ever make me cry. Sometimes he do stuff for me that i don't even understand.. how he even know that he should do them!! He said so many nice things to me the other day and I actually feel like he's gonna do all of them.... if I let him, and actually now that I think about it... I do feel safe with him, like no one can hurt me if he's with me.....and I don't feel good about the thought of him being with someone else....", I finally let it all out.

"Well there! You know how you feel about him, you observed everything he has done for you or will do for you if you let him... so my last question for you is that... Fourth.... you can't trust him or .... you don't want to trust him?"

        He said and I was shocked at his last question and my mind went blank for a second.... but then it hit me... that.... yes! it's not that I can't trust him, it's just that I don't want to trust him or anyone!!

"I think maybe... I don't wanted to trust him! Do you think that I should?", I asked him.

"Well I would say to give him and yourself a chance cause you both deserve it! Just take things slow and try to let your guards down a bit!", My therapist indeed have answers for me.