𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑

5

•ETERNITY SMITH•
Lakewood apartments📍
Miami, FL

"Mama I want daddy." Dior tapped my hand

"Baby he's not here right now." I picked her up

"But I want daddy." Her lip quivered

"Shh baby don't cry. It's okay, you got mommy." I bounced her up and down in my arms

"I want daddy." She cried

I really can't stand Roderick's lame ass. Why the fuck would you have a child just to be a dead beat? We haven't heard from him in two whole months. He blocked me on everything and his friends won't tell me anything so I don't know if he's even okay.

Not to mention I've been losing hours because I don't have a babysitter. I know Giovanni doesn't want to but he might be firing me soon. I'm going to be homeless with a three year old because I chose to have a baby with this lame ass excuse for a man.

I should've listened to my parents when they told me not to mess with him. For one: he was 18 when I was 15 and that's when we met. My parents had a problem with it but I was young and thought having an older boyfriend was cool so I disobeyed them and ran away with him when I turned 16. I haven't seen them in 5 years, they've posted me for my 18th birthday but other than that we don't talk.

Dior's crying and the sound of my phone ringing was starting to overstimulate me. I could feel myself getting angrier and angrier

"Who the fuck is it bro damn?" I answered the phone with an attitude laced voice

"That's how you speak to someone that had you screaming and creaming?" Billie's raspy voice chuckled

"What you want?" I asked still feeing a bit irritable

Dior had stopped crying and instead she scooted closer to hear Billie and I's conversation

"Nothing I just wanted to see how you were doing. You sound a bit stressed though, is everything alright?" Billie asked

"Yeah I'm smoove." I lied

"You're lying aren't you?" She asked

"No." I lied

I don't feel like I've known her long enough to tell her my business

"Okay whatever. Hey, did you hear about that hurricane supposed to be hitting Florida in 5 days?" Billie changed the subject

"Girl we get hurricanes every 2 business days, it ain't nothing I ain't seen before." I waved her off

"I heard it's gonna be deadly. You should think about evacuating-

"Girl I'm a real Floridian. I'ma be aight." I chuckled

"It sounds serious though." She said

"It's gonna be alright." I told her

"The strongest doesn't survive, the wisest does." She told me

"Okay Maya Angelou." I joked

"Her poems were amazing but you should check out Langston Hughes. Really cool man." Billie said

"Oh my god you're dumb." I started laughing

Like seriously what is she talking about?

"I was just saying." She said and I could tell that she was shrugging

"I forgot why I was even mad, you so damn slow." I said shaking my head

"I'm glad I cheered you up." She said

"I gotta go though, my daughter- I gotta handle something." I slipped up

I hope she didn't hear me say daughter

"Wait before you go, I just wanted to ask if you'd possibly wanna go out on a date with me tomorrow... I promise it'll be fun." Billie said

"I don't really know, I got a lot of stuff going on right now." I politely turned her offer down

"Like what?" She asked

"It's personal, Billie." I told her

"It is but... you never know if I could help." She said

"It's my problem not yours, I'll figure it out. I'm a real paper chasing Haitian." I told her

"Oh so it's a money problem eh?" She asked

"Did I say that?" I raised an eyebrow

"You slipped up and did." She responded

"It's nothing that I can't handle. We all fall on short times, I'll be fine." I told her

"Stop tryna be such a strong woman, pride is the devil. If you need help just ask for it. I know it may seem embarrassing and coming from someone who's never worried about anything financially it may sound like I'm asking for a lot but if you need anything just let me know." She told me

Girl I will suck the skin off yo dick.

"I appreciate that but I'm good. I'll talk to you tomorrow." I couldn't help but smile

"Alright I'll talk to you tomorrow. Have a good rest of your day." She said to me

"I will." I said before hanging up

"Mama, money." Dior tapped me

"Girl you too nosey." I laughed

"Moneyyyyyy." Dior dragged out

"Stop Dior, we don't use people unless they're rich assholes." I told her

"Mmm mmm." She shook her head

"I go to bed." She yawned then laid on me

"Goodnight baby girl." I rubbed her head

I gotta find a way to give her a better life. It doesn't make no sense, we really put here struggling like the Jeffersons.

I could feel my heart growing heavy and the thought of me being a bad mother began to creep into my mind. Why'd I have a child just to give her a shitty life? I should be doing way more. She should have way more.

We can't keep living in 1 bedroom 1 bathroom small, in the hood apartments for the rest of our lives, it's going to get old at some point.

"I'ma give you a better life I promise." I began to cry

"No cry mama, you too pretty." Dior sat up

"I'm not crying baby." I lied to her

"Promise?" She asked

"Mmhm." I nodded

"I wuv you mama." She pecked my cheek then laid on my shoulder again

"I love you too baby." I rubbed her back