Heart of a Hunter

2: Haunted Eyes

Sam's POV

I've seen more death than most people ever will. It's part of the job, part of the life. But that doesn't mean I'm numb to it. Far from it. Every time we lose someone, it sticks with me- like a weight I can't shake off, no matter how many monsters we take down.

But something about Blair was different.

Sitting next to her in the backseat of the Impala, I could feel it- her grief, her pain. It clung to the air like a fog, heavy and suffocating. She didn't say much, but I could see it in her eyes. That hollow look. I knew it all too well. I'd seen it in the mirror more times than I'd care to admit.

I glanced at her as she stared out the window, the glow from passing streetlights casting shadows across her face. Her bright red hair was still streaked with dirt, but even through the grime, those freckles stood out. And her eyes- green with those flecks of gold- were still sharp, despite everything she'd been through. I couldn't help but wonder how long it would take before they dulled completely.

She caught me looking and shifted in her seat, pulling the blanket tighter around herself. "You don't have to stay back here" she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper.

I shook my head, offering a small smile "It's fine. Just want to make sure you're okay."

The truth was, I didn't know how to leave her alone. Not when I knew what she was going through, how easily someone could break after a loss like that. I had to stay close, even if I didn't have the words to make it better.

Dean kept his eyes on the road, not saying much, but that was normal. He wasn't great with the touchy-feely stuff. He'd let me handle it, which I usually did. But I had no idea what to say to Blair. I couldn't tell her everything would be fine, because it wouldn't be. That's not how things worked in our world.

"Where are we going?" She asked, her voice cutting through the silence. 

"Just a motel for the night," I said "We'll figure out the next steps in the morning."

She nodded, her gaze dropping to her hands which were clenched so tight her knuckles were turning white. I had to fight the urge to reach out, to offer some kind of comfort, but I didn't know how. What could I say that wouldn't sound hollow?

A few minutes passed in silence before she spoke again.
"Why do you do this?"

Her question caught me off guard. I wasn't sure what she meant at first, but then I saw the way she was looking at me- really looking at me, like she was trying to figure something out.

"This...hunting" She clarified. "Why do you do it?"

I leaned back against the seat, exhaling slowly. That was a question I'd asked myself more times than I could count. Why do we do it? What keeps us going after everything we've lost?

I tried to find the words. "Because if we don't, more people will get hurt. People like you."

She frowned, not satisfied with that answer. "But doesn't it destroy you? Losing people, seeing what you see?"

I glanced at Dean, who hadn't said a word, but was clearly listening. He'd be the first to tell you that we're broken- both of us. But we didn't have a choice. This life had chosen us a long time ago.

"It does" I admitted, meeting her gaze. "But stopping would feel worse. Letting people die when we could do something about it? That's not an option."

Blair didn't say anything for a moment, but I could see the wheels turning in her head. She was trying to make sense of it all, just like I had so many times before.

"I'm sorry" She whispered after a long time.

"For what?" I asked, genuinely confused.

"For...being one more person you couldn't save"

Her words hit me like a punch to the gut. I hadn't expected that. She thought she was just another failure on our list, another casualty we couldn't prevent.

"No" I said firmly, shaking my head. "Blair, we saved you. You're alive."

She didn't seem convinced. Her eyes flickered down to the bandage on her side, the reminder of how close she'd come to being another loss. I couldn't stand seeing her like that, blaming herself for something that wasn't her fault.

I leaned forward, lowering my voice. "You've been through hell, and you're still here. That's something."

She looked up at me then, her eyes searching mine for something- hope, reassurance, maybe. I wasn't sure if she found what she was looking for, but her grip on the blanket loosened just a little.

Dean pulled the Impala into the parking lot of a small, run-down motel, killing the engine. He turned to us, his voice low but direct. "You guys want to get some rest? I'll grab room keys."

I nodded, giving Blair a quick glance. She looked exhausted, the weight of everything she'd been though finally catching up with her. 

"Yeah, that's a good idea." I said, sliding out of the car and helping her out. She was still unsteady, her legs shaky, but she didn't let herself lean on me too much. She was trying to be strong, even now.

Dean headed inside to get the keys while I stayed with Blair, standing in the dimly lit parking lot. She took a deep breath, her eyes scanning the dark horizon as if she expected something to jump out at any second.

"You're safe here." I said quietly, stepping closer.

She looked up at me, her lips pressing together in a thin line. "Am I? Because it doesn't feel like it."

I didn't know what to say to that. I couldn't promise her absolute safety. Not in this world, where monsters were real and anyone could be a target. But I could promise her this:

"We'll keep you safe" I said, my voice firm. "Dean and I- we'll do whatever it takes. You're not alone in this."

Blair's eyes softened just a bit and she nodded. "Thank you, Sam. For everything"

There it was again- the way she said my name, soft and careful. It did something to me, something I couldn't explain. I wasn't used to people like her. She was fragile, but she had this quiet strength about her, and it pulled me in, even thought I knew I should keep my distance.

Dean returned with the keys, and we made our way to the room. Blair moved slower than the rest of us, her movements careful as she fought against the pain. I caught her a few times, steadying her without thinking about it.

Once inside, she headed straight for the nearest bed, sitting on the edge with a sigh. She didn't say anything, just stared down at her hands again. I wanted to say something to make her feel better, but words weren't really my thing. Not when it came to stuff like this.

 Dean tossed a pillow onto the chair in the corner, making himself comfortable. "Get some sleep, Sammy. You too, Blair. We'll figure out our next move in the morning."

I nodded, but I didn't move right away. I stood there, watching Blair for a moment longer, wondering what it was about her that made me want to protect her so badly. Sure, I wanted to protect everyone- It's what we do. But with her, it felt different. More personal.

Her eyes met mine one last time before she laid down, curling up under the covers.

"Goodnight Sam" She whispered, and the way she said it- so soft, so trusting -made something inside me stir.

"Goodnight Blair" I said back, my voice just as quiet.

And as I laid down on the other bed, I couldn't help but think about how close she'd come to losing everything. About how close I'd come to failing her. But as long as she was here, as long as she was safe, I wasn't going to let that happen

Not again