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° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .
9:19 am
As I woke up, I saw my brother and Father in front of me. It seems like I'm in trouble, but DAd finally arrived! Gosh... How long was I out?! Well, I can see through they're faces that I will be scolded. It's pretty obvious... I sigh and they didn't even let me talk first.
Папа: "Katya." Dad spoke to me, he sounded very serious and... Annoyed, whoops.
I took another sigh but deeper, as I looked down. Unable to eye contact, knowing fully I'm in a big trouble, or not. Who knows? Heh, I guess I'm that mischievous. I mean, not too much? But anyways, ofcourse and as usual, he scolded and lectured me not to eavesdrop and actually be careful of myself... I mean I'm a very nosy person, I got to admit, but can you blame me? like they always say: Curiosity kills the cat ... And im that cat. Finally he's done lecturing and actually left, but I stopped him and asked:
"Папа, ты любишь меня?" (Dad, do you love me?)
He sighs at my question, I fully know I repeat it every single time he is here... But I just wanted some love. Ah, stupid me... I just got lectured, ofcourse his in a bad mood.. idiot.
Papa: "Ты никогда не устанешь спрашивать меня об этом, не так ли?"(You will never get tired asking me that, do you?)
He spoke coldly, as usual. I just wanted some love. I huff and looks away, as he continues to walk away and to his men's. I looked at him for a second before looking back to my brother who is currently waiting for me to get in the van. And after a few more seconds to rethink my actions, I finally went inside the van and with my brother. Right after getting home, like usual, run to my room, change then do whatever the heck I want.
I went in my room and changed to my comfy pajamas before doing the studying, homework then review... I have lots to do today, like always. After that, I grabbed my phone to scroll through a social media. Just a bunch of boring stuff, should I play? Nah... Not today. Maybe tomorrow, after all, right after tomorrow will be the weekends.I put the pen down, and as I finished sketching random crap. I went to lay on my bed and try to sleep, but I can't. Darn it, must be the device, I shouldn't have used it... Ugh, what to do now?... I stared at the ceiling as I tried to think of anything, maybe annoy my brother? Nah, I'd die. Y'know him, he might look sweet- oh wait, no... He doesn't look sweet, nevermind. Ughh, I groaned and goes to lay on my side, what now? I asked myself again, it's so boring. I'm lazy to stand up. I closed my eyes and stayed still until I felt very sleepy, finally. Everything went black and silent, only to be back on my dreams.
Everything looks good, it was an early beautiful morning, and I was 6 in this dream I am into. I saw my Brother playing on the playground, he used to like to play much, but now after he is trained to be a soldier. He became all of a sudden, serious and cold. I sigh, fully knowing this dreams are just dreams. I can't move, as if my memory controls me, however, it's already enough for me to remember it. I walked through the snow, and I was wearing my Coat and Ushanka. I loved the time when I used to play in the snow with my brother, and now I felt it again. I wish to stay in this dream forever, but I can't. I throw him a snowball, but once we're done playing, I hugged him in my dream. Fully knowing I won't dream of this again. And finally, I woke up.
I sighed and get up, but to look at the calendar and realize it's weekends. Good. But just I have noticed, time is going fast.. So fast that I also grew fast and almost forgot my whole childhood, well I should have let myself to forget about it.. My childhood is terrible. Like really terrible.. But I also get it why my Father is like that, I guess I understand him. Atleast he isn't like his past self now. Is he? I looked outside of my window, and yet once again, bored. Is there anything fun to do with life? Simply: No. I don't have much freedom, hundreds of men outside around this base and my Brother is also outside doing some training. Now I'm stuck here like im one of those Fairytales, ever heard of Rapunzel? Ah yes, if some random man asked me to bring him up, I'd make myself bald before he could ask.
