The Phasing Dimensional Library

L2BA TSF3 O1F

Bob Hall hates his name, say it out loud, and you'll understand why, sounds really stupid. He's changing his name to Wentworth Wellington Hall, this will instill awe and respect in others. So, from now on, he's referring to himself as Wentworth. He'll buy a monocle next week on Tuesday at exactly 3:17pm because of the critical time importance, he'll be wearing his double-breasted blue color blazer with yellow long johns and purple penny loafers. He knows this will cause the ladies to faint and strong men to whimper like beaten turtles.

Wentworth was starting to feel unusually strange in his heart, mind, spirit, and soul because the extremely powerful psychedelics were kicking in. He wasn't quite certain if taking 50 hits of Grateful Dead LSD, a huge ball of Magic Psilocybin Mushrooms and Very Pure DMT at the same time was the grandest idea he'd ever had. He'll find out sooner rather than later. Massive earthquakes started shaking the house, yard, and street. The sky turned purple, and the pouring rain was green. He just saw a ten-foot tall orange lady with a tail and mustache riding a skateboard. Superman was powerless and running from a kryptonite moose with white wings. Suddenly his living room phased, shifted and exploded into absolute total complete unending darkness. He heard what he thought was him saying, "Bob Hall, you have now entered into the state of complete nothingness, and you will vanish from your own awareness. Forever.

Oh no, Bob Hall, you've finally overdosed on too many drugs and are having a brain aneurysm that is killing you. Wait a minute, I'm Wentworth and not stupid Bob Hall, he can die if that's what he wants. I need a beer, but it's so damn dark I can't figure out where the refrigerator is." The Beatles are singing that they want to hold his hand. "This sounds like a glorious idea if they're singing from my kitchen". They stopped playing, and Pink Floyd is saying he's comfortably numb. "Damn right, because I'm Wentworth, and enjoying the grandest of names". A distant ship on the horizon and his hands that felt like two balloons are telling him his beer is in the washing machine covered in red ice. "That's nice if there are no mice covered in pizza." He's got to find his beer to stop this stupid brain aneurysm from killing Bob Hall, after all, he couldn't help it for being so dumb. "Why is it so damn dark?" Instantly, he heard, "Because you don't exist." Kansas is telling him he's dust in the wind. "Fine, settle my dust on the washing machine, so I can drink 9 or 10 beers to save that idiot Bob Hall. Wait a moment, how can dust drink?"

There's a gigantic expansion of brilliant pure light, and he's standing naked in a massive library holding his cell phone. "Oh great, now I've got to find some clothes and my washing machine while figuring out how to leave a library." For a most important and critical reason, Wentworth remembered that crazy Bob Hall had never set up his phone's voicemail. After dialing in, he recorded his brilliant message, "If you're calling for Bob, I'm now Wentworth. I'm over there and not here, so when I return here from there I'll leave again if it's raining. I left there some time ago and became lost getting here, so I returned there to remember here. I think. It's sunny, and I'm going bowling, so I won't get skin cancer. If you're there when I find the route from my there to you here, I'll call if I remember to turn on the oven and flush the toilet 3 times. Your stupid call is extremely unimportant to me, so I'll return the call as quickly as possible when I go there from here. Maybe. Hello for now."