If We Survive The Night

Insomnia

Casey

I'm not sure how long I've been asleep. It's one of those weird nights when it feels like you lie awake, and yet time passes, judging by the shadows moving across the room, so you're probably drifting off every now and then, even if you're not aware of it.

At some point, I give up and sit up on the bed, pushing away the blanket that Jaden covered me with. It's too hot, anyway, but without it, I immediately feel chills. I pull my knees to my chest, hugging them, but that puts pressure on my bandaged foot, so I straighten them out again. My hurt knee clicks as I do that, making me wince. I hope it's nothing permanent. Would hate to be limping for the rest of my life.

Maybe I needed to go to the hospital to have it checked.

I definitely should have gone to the hospital.

It suddenly seems so stupid to me, making Jaden bring me here. I wasn't thinking straight, and neither was he. I was nervous about going to the police, yeah, partly because the attacker wore the uniform, but, as Jaden had said, it didn't have to be a real one. I should have told him to drive me to a hospital. We'll do that first thing in the morning.

I glance at my wrist, where my watch usually is, but I took it off at home before the shower. Left it behind, together with my phone. Gosh, I feel so weird without the phone. I can't even tell what time it is. Probably the middle of the night. Definitely the longest night of my life.

I move my foot again, assessing the pain. Should I change the bandage? The wound seems to hurt more than it did when I went to bed. Not went, exactly—Jaden carried me, which was kind of unexpectedly nice. He's notably friendlier to me when I'm asleep. It's when I'm awake and talking back that he's constantly pissed off with me. With my eyes closed and my mouth shut, he tucks me in and pats me on the cheek. That was cute. If he knew I wasn't asleep, he probably would have smothered me with a pillow for witnessing his moment of gentleness. He obviously hates to show his softer side.

I lower my feet to the floor. The cool of the tiles gets to my wound through the bandage, soothing it a little. I'm way too restless to sleep, or to be alone. I wonder if Jaden is awake. After he'd brought me to bed, I heard him in the other room, tossing and turning on the sofa. Now, the living room is quiet.

After a bit of contemplation, I get up and limp to the door. If he's awake, I'll have company. If he's asleep, I'll get his phone and see if there're any updates. Hell, maybe I'll just call the police. It's pretty clear by now that this is the right thing to do.

The living room is mostly dark, but in the light coming from the streetlights outside, I can see that Jaden has gathered all the books and clothes and piled them under the TV. I can see the shape of him, lying on the sofa, uncovered, his blanket on the floor. Just like me, he still has his clothes on. I wonder if he always sleeps like that. Can't really imagine him in pajamas. He probably just sleeps in his underwear when he's alone. I sure can imagine that.

As my eyes adjust, I make out his phone. It's right next to him on the sofa. I limp towards him slowly, making sure not to step on anything. At least he's old enough to make encountering any Lego pieces unlikely, but the room is still pretty messy, and I do end up stepping on some pen, or pencil, I can't tell. I pause, suck in a breath, together with a curse.

Finally, I make it to the sofa, and sit down on the floor, choosing the least painful position for my bandaged foot. Jaden seems sound asleep, breathing steadily. Slowly, I reach for the phone, contemplating if I should use it here, or go back to the bedroom, so that the light from the screen wouldn't wake him up.

"Sorry about the money," he says suddenly, and I almost drop the phone.

"Gosh!" I hiss. "You awake?"

"Yeah." He's whispering, too, even though there're only the two of us, and we're both obviously not asleep.

"What money are you talking about?" I try to gauge his expression, but with the window behind his back, I don't stand a chance.

"The three hundred I took from you."

"Ah?" It takes me a moment. "Ah, that."

"I wouldn't have told anyone, even without the money."

I hum. "Didn't stop you from taking it."

"Do you want it back?"

"Would you give it back?"

"Do I have to?"

We both snort.

"Whatever, just keep it," I say.

"Are you still seeing him?"

"Whom?"

"That guy I saw you with."

"Andy?"

He shrugs. "If that's the name."

"Yeah." I look down, turning the phone in my hands. "Yeah, I guess we're still seeing each other. Sometimes."

"Good for you," he says. "I guess."

"No judgement?"

"To each their own. So, the money is forgiven?"

"Since I'm clearly not getting it back, sure, why not."

"Good." He reaches out and scratches my head, like petting a dog. The gesture takes me by surprise, but then I lean into the touch, which, in turn, surprises him, making his fingers freeze in my hair.

"What're you doing?" he says.

"I've been needing a hug, but this will do."

He hums, but his fingers start brushing through my curls again, rubbing my scalp. "Like this?"

"Yeah," I murmur, closing my eyes. "A bit of massage never hurts. Especially when everything else does."

"You weirdo," he says, but his fingers continue their slow, gentle movements.

"Weirdo?" I pull away. "All right, then. If you're not into giving me a massage, I'll check the news."

He sighs and turns to lie on his back. "All right. Go ahead."

I tap on the screen to unlock it, and go to the news site, and then, the very first headline that I see instantly shatters my brief sense of calm.