What If.

Bloody crying depressed mess

I watched the blood trickle down my arms and legs and cried.
" I hate my fucking stupid shitty life!" I screamed banging my head against the wall. I'm a fat Loner and I'll always be. No one would care if I disappeared one day, died, killed myself, cut. I continued to cut my wrists ankles.
" Why does everyone hate me. I'm a fucking stupid bitch who has no life. I want to trade faces and everything with somebody!" I yelled. Life is one big joke I thought, life sucks and life hates me. Everyone hates me. I heard my mom locking the car and quickly turned on the bath tub tap, the water stung because of all my cuts but I didint care, I deserved it. I watched all the blood disappearing from my wrists and ankles and but bandaids on my wrists and socks on my ankles.
" Emmy I got a new toy and you didint!" The annoying troll of a sister said bossily.
"Shut up I don't care!" I slammed my door in her face and jumped on my bed. I could jump off the roof, I could. I thought, but no people would hear and yell at me. I took out the blade again and continued to cut and think. Why do I exist? Why do people hate me? I'm just being me, but apparently being me isn't allowed or else I'm considered a looser with no fucking life. I ran the sharp blade down my thigh and then put the blade under my bed.
" Emmy! Can you come here a moment" my mom yelled
I quickly put on capris to cover my cut and ran downstairs.
"What is it mom?"
"Nothing big, it's just I wanted you to know Amanda is having her birthday bash and it's a huge event and a huge pool party and everyone in the grade is invited but you. I found out because there was an invitation lying on the ground when I left the store." She said handing me my best friends invitation to her party that I didint receive.
{ what the card said}
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MANDY!
{ inside }
Your invited to Mandy's big birthday bash. It's a pool party, and the reason why wet are handing out invitations is because EVERYONE is invited.
What we are doing:
Swimming
Partying and dancing
Movie watching
Camp fire
And more.
Hope you can make it!
____
{ not in the card anymore }
She's not my best friend anymore, my own old best friend didint bother inviting me.
" I'm sorry Hun..."
"It's okay mom " I replied and ran up the stairs. This proved to me even more that people hate me. I texted Amanda and told her I wasn't gonna bother speaking to her anymore, she read my text and didint reply. I threw my phone across the room along with my pillow and ran to the pictures of me and her on my shelf. I shoved them all off and fell to the floor crying. One hour passed, then came two, after ... Three . Three hours of crying and cutting. I wanted to die. I continued to cry and get rid of everything that had to do with Amanda for the next hour and finally I needed to sleep. I didint though. I stayed up all night crying.