When Stars Align

9: Cheer for One, Stare at Another

EMERY
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The sharp autumn air pricked at my skin as we stepped into the stadium, the late afternoon sun casting a golden glow over the crowd already filling the bleachers. Jane was bouncing beside me, her curly hair catching the light as she scanned for the best seats. Lily, quieter, trailed just behind.

I tugged the sleeves of my jacket down a little further, adjusting my scarf, trying to look nonchalant, though my stomach was knotted. I wasn't here for him, I told myself again. But my gaze still slid to the field before I could stop it.

"That looks perfect!" Jane shouted, pointing to a section a few rows from the front. Close enough to smell the sweat and hear the grunts when the game started. Too close, maybe. But I followed her lead anyway, sinking onto the metal bench, feeling the cold seep through my jeans.

Lily sat beside me, offering a shy smile. "You okay?"

I nodded, pulling my scarf tighter around my neck, even though the chill wasn't from the weather. "Yeah. Just... y'know. Football."

Jane glanced at me. "More like Matt and football." She elbowed me lightly. "You two have decided what you both are yet?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but the crowd roared suddenly, drowning out whatever half-hearted excuse I was about to give. The team had just come onto the field.

I clapped along, pretending my pulse wasn't speeding up, pretending I wasn't scanning the field for the tall, broad figure I knew all too well. I spotted him near the fifty-yard line, stretching, his back to me. Jaxon. He shifted his weight, adjusting his helmet, his movements smooth and familiar. A familiar tug tightened in my chest, one I'd been ignoring for months.

"I see him," Jane whispered in my ear, smirking.

"Shut up," I muttered, though my eyes hadn't moved. Jaxon's jersey fit tight against his shoulders, his sandy hair poking out from beneath his helmet. He looked every bit the star quarterback, relaxed, confident. The opposite of how I felt, sitting there, my stomach in knots.

Lily leaned in. "You still—?"

"No," I cut her off, though too quickly. "It's complicated."

Her brow furrowed, but she didn't push. Lily was good like that, knowing when to back off. Jane, not so much.

"You could at least pretend you're not here for the heartless quarterback," Jane said. "Matt's the one you should root for."

I bit my lip, glancing across the field. Matt was warming up too. He always looked so composed, so steady, like nothing rattled him. Not like Jaxon, who wore his heart on his sleeve. They were different that way. Matt was dependable. Safe.

Guilt flickered through me as I cheered with the crowd when Matt's name was announced. My voice caught in my throat, but I kept shouting and clapping as loud as I could. I wanted him to hear me, to know I was here. But something about it felt hollow.

"Go, Matt!" I shouted, though my voice was lost in the crowd's roar. Lily and Jane were beside me, clapping and yelling along with everyone else, their excitement infectious. Jane was bouncing on her toes, her curly hair a blur of motion.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jaxon adjusting his helmet. The sunlight caught the sandy blonde streaks in his hair, and I felt that tug again — the one I couldn't quite shake, no matter how hard I tried. He was standing with his usual swagger, exchanging a few words with a teammate before taking his place on the field.

I swallowed hard, my stomach twisting. I shouldn't look, shouldn't care. But I did.

A sudden movement near the sidelines caught my attention, and my eyes landed on Tessa. She was mid-cheer, her blonde hair perfectly in place, her smile a little too bright. When she noticed me, though, the smile faltered. Her bright blue eyes narrowed as she paused, barely missing a beat in her routine.