Be more chill

-More Than Survive-

Jeremy's POV:

"C'mon! Just load already!" I scream at my loading computer. I try to get as much time to myself as I can in the morning. And this morning, porn.

I look at the time, and it's 7:11. "Damnit," I close my computer, and scramble to find jeans to go with my striped shirt. I find them, and shove them on.

"Good morning! Time to start the day," I say, sarcastically whilst standing in front of my mirror as I throw my old cardigan on.

I go downstairs to greet my father, and when I find him, he has no pants on. Again.

"Dad! Haven't you heard of a thing called pants?"

My dad looks at me with an amused look on his face. We literally go through this every. single. morning. I don't wanna see his business, but clearly he doesn't care if I do or not.

"We're all men in this house! Pretend we're in the army," he acknowledges.

"Just- when I get home, have pants on. Okay?"

"Ten-hut!"

I sigh. 07:14. I wave to my dad as he sips on his coffee. Sometimes he gets on my nerves. I don't think he's been a dad to me since I turned four, or more specifically, when my mom left.

I realize something. fuck. Dad was supposed to drive me to school. He already started work. Now I have two options; Take the bus, or walk instead. I get that all too familiar feeling in my stomach; dread. I can feel my face heating up. That happens when I get nervous.

I try to remember the breathing techniques Michael taught me. Michael is my best friend, and he has been for the last twelve years. I breathe for a minute, then weigh the options. CALMLY. A junior on the bus is killer weak, but if I walk, when I arrive I'm gonna straight up REEK. My boxers will be bunchy, and I'll be sweating in places I didn't know I could sweat. I decide on walking, to save my reputation.

I don't even have a reputation...what the fuck am I yapping about? The bus passes by, and I rule out that option.

You know, I wish I was cool. I don't wanna be a hero or anything, not like Rob Dinero. He's awesome. Unlike me. I don't even wanna be special; I just wanna survive.

I bet you're thinking, "oh that's just garbage, Jeremy! You are surviving!" Just barely, and I don't even mean in the physical sense. I want to be noticed. Being a junior sucks ass, and I hate it. I can't wait for college.

When I finally get to school, I attempt to head to my locker so I won't be late.

"Watch it, Tall-Ass!" I hear an over confident voice say. Rich Gorenski. He started bullying me and Michael around last yearish. I don't know what we did, but he clearly didn't like it.

"I'm just trying to get to my locker.." I say, as I get spun around, by Rich, who looks me dead in the eye. He says, "Wash this off, you're dead."

I walk to my locker after being let go, and make a tally in my humiliation sheet, next to "Tall-Ass" and "grabbed".

I grab my stuff, and I notice a poster on the wall, which looks somewhat interesting.

I walk over to it, and I see in big letters "AFTER SCHOOL PLAY !" It's a sign up for the play!...it's a sign up sheet for getting called gay, and that already happens enough without my help.

I walk away from it, hang a left on my way to science, until I see her. Christine Canigula. God, she's beautiful. I slowly see her inching up to me, or, well near me- She would never interact with someone like me.

I was wrong, apparently. As I was in my own world, she taps me on the shoulder.

"Excuse me? I think someone wrote 'Boyf' on your backpack,"

I turn around, and meet Christine staring up at me.

"I- uhm...uh-" I stutter.

I turn away and head to science as I mentally ridicule myself. That was smooth! Yeah that was pimp! Ugh. My mac-daddy game couldn't be more limp! If I can't pull myself together, I'm gonna be a virgin till' I die! I mean, I might as well be anyway. If my nuts were any smaller, they would be totally gone!

I reach science, while Mr. Gretch takes attendance.

"Heere?" I raise my hand. "Present..." I say. I learned that if I say "here", like a normal person, It'll confuse people.

-time skip to lunch-

I see Michael in the distance. He does a little dance as he walks up to me.

"Jeremy! My buddy! How's it hangin'? Lunch is bangin'! Had my sushi, got my slushie, and more! The roll was neki-maki and I'm feelin kinda cocky, cuz' the girl at sev' elev' gave me a generous pour!" he sings.

His headphones are on. He always has them on, unless he's in class. It's gotten to the point where people literally call him "Anti-social headphones kid." I figure he's either high as fuck, or listening to a good song. His eyes surprisingly aren't red, though. Michael does this thing where if he finds a good song or artist, he'll listen to it over and over for days on end, until he gets bored of it.

"You're listening to Bob Marley again, aren't you?" I inquire.

"OHHHHHHH!! I'm listenin' to Marley, and the groove is hella gnarly! And we're almost at the end of this song!" He pauses to slide his headphones off. "Yeah, that was the end, now tell me friend; how was class? You look like ass- what's wrong?" he asks, whispering the last bit.

I hold up my backpack. "Boyf? what does that even mean?"

He holds up his backpack to mine. Together, they say "Boyfriends." sigh. double sigh.

"My mothers would be thrilled!"

"I hate this school,"

"it's all good! I saw on discovery that humans have stopped evolving!" He regularly watches the discovery channel, and sometimes I join him if there's anything about dolphins. Michael jokes that dolphins are my fursona. I'm not even a furry.

"That's...good?"

"Evolution's survival of the fittest, right? But now, because of technology, you don't have to be strong to survive! Which means there's never been a better time in history to be a loser!"

I look over, and see Christine signing up for the play. You know, the sign up for getting called 'gay'. Yeah, that one.

I mumble "signing up for the play.." under my breath, considering the option. I hear Michael say something along the lines of, "I was gonna say getting stoned in my basement, but-"

"No, I mean..look who's signing up for the play,"

"Christine. You know, this is the perfect chance to get to know her!"

"But I'll get called gay.."

"Who cares! Christine signed! You should do the same! Impress her!"

He's right. I walk up to the paper, and sign it. As expected, I hear the "Gay!!!" and the snickering. I also hear Brooke Lohst, one of the super popular girls say, "I like gay people!" Which was a bit concerning, but I mean, whatever floats her boat.

I make a tally in my humiliation sheet for snickers and getting called gay. Last week I got called gay for shaking Michael's hand. High school is brutal.

I'm never gonna be the cool guy. I'm more the one who's left out. Of all the characters in school, the story's definitely not about me.

I just want to..well..more than survive.

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FIRST CHAPTER!  WOOOO!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥

Covid sucks ass. I hate it :(

Song of the day: Scrawny by Wallows <3

Monday, September Twenty third.

Hoy es lunes, veinte y tres, de septiembre.

words: 1322

-Ash <3