Love against the odds

Chapter forty

-Zoe-

I glance over at my mom as we drive back from the mall. I wanted to tell her on the way there, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

I'm not relaxed right now, not at all. The knot in my stomach has been there all morning, getting tighter with every minute that passes.

You have to tell her

That thought pounds in my head like a drumbeat. Liv has probably already told her dad. I just have to stop being so dramatic and just tell her like a normal person.

All I've been thinking about for the past few hours is telling her. I've imagined this conversation a million times, rehearsing the words over and over in my head. But I also know that I won't be able to get home without telling her.

''You're really quiet today Zoe,'' Mom says, breaking through the silence. ''Is everything okay?''

I'm actually really glad she's the one who said something first. I take a deep breath. I'm going to say it. Just count backwards from 3 to 1 in your head and then you have to say it.

And that's what I do. ''Actually there is something I want to talk to you about.'' I begin. My heart is racing right now, but I can't go back anymore. I can feel my face turning red. ''It's kind of a big deal.''

Mom looks over at me, and I can read the worry on her face. ''You can tell me anything.''

I need, swallowing hard to gather my thoughts and think of the right words to tell her. My mouth feels dry, and the words I've practiced so many times suddenly feel impossible to say, but I have to do it. I owe it to Liv and I owe it to myself.

''It's about Liv... and me.''

For a split second, I wonder if she already knows. Like she somehow puts everything together and it doesn't come as a surprise at all, but that's stupid. Of course she doesn't know. She can't know.

''We are uhm... together.'' I say hesitantly. I don't know if these are the right words to tell her, but the important thing is that I told her.

The words hang in the air between us. My eyes stay fixed on the dashboard. I wait for her to say something, anything. But all I hear is the sound of the car with the radio playing softly in the background.

I look over at her, but her face is unreadable. I can't tell if she's angry, shocked, disappointed, or just processing what I just said. The silence is unbearable.

''I... I didn't know.'' She finally says. Her voice is soft and unsure, but somehow it's better than nothing.

''I know. I didn't tell anyone.''

''Does Zach know?'' She asks me, her eyes still on the road, but I can see her trying to make sense of what I just told her. I slowly start to wonder if I make a huge mistake. What if she doesn't accept it?

"Liv is going to tell him."

Mom takes a deep breath, opening her mouth like she is going to say something. I brace myself for whatever is going to come out of her mouth. ''How long has this been going on?''

I'm a bit caught by the question. "I don't really know," My voice is shaky, but at least I'm happy that the tone of her question wasn't angry or disappointed. ''I think a few months.''

''You love her?''

''Yes i do.''

''Then that means I'm happy for you.''

I'm not completely sure I heard her right. Did she just say she was okay with it? Like she is okay with me and Liv?

"It's a little... new, and I didn't expect it," she looks my way as she says this. ''but that doesn't mean i'm not going to support you. I love you Zoe, and if Liv is who makes you happy, then that's what matters to me.'' The relief that washes over me as I hear those words is indescribable. I've spent so long worrying about this moment, and what she would say, but she's okay with it.