t w e n t y

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Kenans Pov

I wake up before dawn, staring at the ceiling in the darkness. The sound of Mines steady breathing next to me is usually calming, but today it just reminds me of the growing distance between us. Last nights argument plays in my head like a broken record, and I cannot shake the feeling that somethings slipping through my fingers.
I have been trying to hold everything together — football, the media, and this relationship – but it's getting harder. Even for me. And it's not just the headlines and the pressure from the fans, it's something way deeper. Something that's building up between us, and I can't even put my finger on what it is.

I glance at Mine, her face peaceful in sleep, and feel a pang of guilt. She's been through a lot because of me–losing her job, being hounded by the press. But what's worse is that I can't seem to shield her from any of it. I thought coming here, getting away from everything, would give us some space to breathe. But all it's done is bring the cracks to the surface.
Quietly, I get out of bed and head outside to the balcony. This has been my current escape from everything. The early morning air is cool, a welcome relief from the heat of the island. The sun hasn't risen yet, but there is a faint glow on the horizon, like a promise of something new. I lean against the railing, my thoughts racing. How can I fix this mess? All I wanted was a normal relationship with the girl that I love.

Football has always been my escape, my anchor. It's what I know. But ever since the Euros, things have felt off. The criticism, the questions about my focus, it's all gotten in my head. And now, instead of feeling like Im back on solid ground, Im stuck in this endless cycle of trying to prove myself again. And then there is Mine. I love her, I do, but lately, it feels like Im failing her in every way that counts. I want to be the person she feels peaceful with.

I hear the door to the balcony slide open behind me, and I don't need to turn to know it's her. Obviously.
"Couldn't sleep?" Mines voice is soft, still heavy with sleep. Beautiful as always, even though she just woke up.
I shake my head. "No."

She joins me at the railing, the silence between us thick ans uncomfortable. I can tell she is still upset about last night, and I don't blame her. The way I lashed out – it wasn't fair. But I don't know how to fix it.
"We need to talk Kenan." She starts to speak, her voice steady but with a hint of tiredness that makes my stomach twist.

"We can't keep pretending like everything is fine."

I sigh, leaning forward, resting my head in my hands. "I know."

"Then talk to me," she presses. "You have been distant since you got back from Germany, well at first you behaved like always but then.... You barely look at me anymore, and when you do, it's like you are a million miles away."

"It's not you," I say quickly, but the words sound hollow, even to me. "It's just...everything. The media, the pressure to stay at the top, the expectations. It's all starting to get to me."

She is quiet for a moment, and when she speaks again, her voice is softer, almost hesitant. "And me? Am I part of that pressure?"
I wince. "No, Mine. You are not, you are not the problem."
But even as I say it, I know there is a truth I am avoiding. Football has always been the most important thing in my life. And for the first time, I am realising that maybe I have put it ahead of everything – including the woman I love.

"You are not the problem." I repeat,turning to look at her. "But sometimes I feel like Im being pulled in so many directions that I don't know how to give you what you deserve. I want to protect you as good as possible,Mine."

She meets my gaze, her eyes filled with a mix of understanding and hurt. "I am not asking for you to choose between me and football,Kenan. But I need to know that we are in this together. That we can survive this."

I feel the weight of her words settling on me. She's right. This isn't just about football or the media; it's about us, about whether we can make it through the noise and pressure and come out stronger. And right now, I don't know if we can.

"I don't want to lose you." I admit, my voice rough. "But I don't know how to balance everything. It's like no matter what I do, I am letting someone down."

She reaches out and takes my hand, her fingers cold against mine. "I don't need you to be perfect. I just need you to be honest with me. If we are going to make this work, we have to be on the same page."

I nod, the knot in my chest loosening just a little.
"You're right. I have been holding everything in because I didn't want to add to your stress, but that's not fair to either of us."

Mine lets out a small sigh of relief, though the tension isn't completely gone.
"I don't want you to handle this alone, Kenan. We are supposed to partners. If things are hard for you, then they're hard for me too."

I squeeze her hand, feeling the weight of the conversation starting to lift, even if just a little.
"I am sorry. I have been pushing you away because I thought I was protecting you. But I see now, that it was only making things worse."

She nods, her eyes searching mine. "We will figure it out. Together, remember? God we repeat the same words over and over."

For a moment, we stand in silence, the early morning light beginning to filter through the clouds. The tension is still there, but it feels like we have taken a step toward healing—like we can start to repair the cracks.

"I have been thinking-" I say after a while.
"Maybe once we get back, we should take some time. Go somewhere, just the two of us, before the season starts."

Mine looks up at me, clearly confused.
"Another vacation?"

I nod. "Not just a vacation, a reset. No distractions, no media, just us. Somewhere quiet, away from everything. This time for real."

She hesitates, then smiles, the first real smile I have seen from her in days.
"I would like that. But you sure you are ready to step away from football for a while?"

I laugh, a genuine one this time.
"I think we both need it, don't we?"

She leans into me, her head resting on my shoulder. I hate fights with her. This is far better...

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⏰ Last updated: Oct 06 ⏰

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