Desire

Part 19 - groceries

**NOTE** This chapter DOES NOT contain smut

WC: 1057

Summary: You run into Tamaki unexpectedly. It doesn't go as badly as you thought. 

Includes: plot/impure thoughts

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The days drag out. You avoid looking at indigo-colored things. There's not too much indigo stuff around so it's not a big issue.

Swinging open your fridge door, you find the shelves glaringly empty, a lone carrot sitting in the veggies drawer looking pathetic. You groan in frustration, flopping onto the couch and sinking into the cushions. An hour later, after finding (and eating) a bag of stale chips you find in the back of the cabinet, you decide to suck it up and get some groceries.

Pulling on a pair of sweatpants, you tie up your hair in a bun and slip on a baby tee with the word "girls" on the front. Hoping you don't run into anyone you know, you slip on some shoes and head out the door with an empty tote bag.

Immediately there are issues. Your local grocery store is closed at this time of night so you have to trek an extra ten minutes to a slightly more expensive, out of your way, grocery store. And it's really fucking cold in there too.

Thankfully, it's pretty much free of people, some customers perusing the shelves with tired eyes and sagging shoulders. You shiver, rubbing your palms against your arms as you look for some lettuce and fruits under the glare of the fluorescents.

And then you turn into an aisle and spot a head of indigo hair. You blink and then look again. It's Tamaki. His back is turned to you but it's him alright. He's holding a basket, looking at vegetables in an almost pensive manner. He's wearing jeans and a white T-shirt. He looks good. You stare. You watch from the sidelines as he reaches out, takes a head of broccoli, and puts it in his basket. He turns. You freeze.

He looks startled, his eyes immediately going wide. You turn slightly red. What are the chances? Why were you staring him down? What do you do now? Why does he look so goddamn fuckable in those jeans?

"Y/n"? Tamaki questions you as you unstick your feet from the ground and approach him.

"Yeah", you say awkwardly, forcing your arms to drop to your sides from where they're crossed over your chest.

"It's a bit- late to be grocery shopping", he says. He looks instantly annoyed at his choice of speech.

"Well- I had nothing to eat", you say dumbly. He nods, resisting the urge to shuffle his feet or worse, run off in the opposite direction. "What's your excuse"? You gesture at his basket. He follows your movement with his eyes.

"This is when I always go shopping", he states. He's not lying. Tamaki truly prefers this eerie grocery store vibe to the hustle and bustle of daytime shopping excursions. You nod.

"How- how have you been"? Your gaze locks on the broccoli in his basket instead of on him as you ask.

"Okay", is all he offers as a response. You frown.

"I thought about it. About us- you know I tried to call you"? You cut off your apology with a tangent. Tamaki looks uncomfortable.

"I saw that-"

"Why didn't you call back"?
"Why didn't you leave a voicemail"? He shoots back.

"I- I should have. I just didn't know what to say. I don't know what to say". Tamaki looks slightly angry at that.
"You could start with sorry", he proposes, voice coming out lowly like he's trying not to get mad in a public place. You nod.

"You're right. I'm sorry Tamaki. I know- I hurt you and I won't make any excuses. What I did was wrong and- it would be...understandable- if you um- wanted to br-break up with-" You can't get out the last word. Your throat feels dry, emotions clogging your esophagus. You didn't realize how much you cared about this until you started to imagine him breaking up with you.

Someone turns into the aisle and walks past the two of you as you stare into Tamaki's eyes. He's not saying anything.

"I don't want to break up". Tamaki sounds quiet but resolute. Your eyes search his.

"Really"? You don't mean it to sound as incredulous as it does. The smile he gives you is almost gentle.

"I like you. A lot. But I really don't want to be lied to. It's- unpleasant". Tamaki grimaces a little at that as if remembering your fight. Tears spring to your eyes.

"I- I'm so sorry I hurt you". You really hope he understands that you mean it. He chews at the inside of his cheek. "I want to redeem myself- what can I do"? You feel like an eager teacher's pet. Tamaki shakes his head.

"I- I don't need anything special. I just- I want you. I want you to want me". He looks at the floor. Your heart melts at his words.

"I do want you". You take a step closer to him. He smiles down at you, a faint blush on his cheeks.

"I've never seen you in sweatpants before", he lightens the conversation topic.

"I've never seen you in jeans before", you respond and he looks down at his pants as if he didn't know he was wearing jeans before you pointed it out.

"I like to dress up nice for you". He shifts his basket from his right to his left hand.

"Same here sweetheart". You try out the nickname again, watching his reaction. A blush. You smile.

"I- um", he gestures at his broccoli. "Need to get something besides broccoli".

"Oh- yeah of course. Same here". You show him your empty bag. The conversation is coming to a —inevitably awkward— close.

"I'll call you"? Tamaki asks, sounding innocent.

"Yes please". Your eyes lock onto his. He nods with a small smile.

"Okay y/n. See you". He gives you a small wave and turns away. You say 'bye' quietly, feeling a bit dazed; not quite dazed enough to avoid looking at his ass as he walks away.

You internally curse yourself for not looking more put-together as you continue your shopping. You keep hoping that you'll run into Tamaki again before he leaves the store but that doesn't happen. You go home feeling happy for the first time in a while and, for once, aren't mad at yourself for being obsessed with a boy.