The Dead Among Us

63. What is going on

Fabia's POV

It has been quite some time since the funeral, and to be honest, I have lost track of exactly how many weeks it has been. All I know is that the days seem to blend together, and the weather has been gradually getting colder.

I have yet to receive a spanking or, truthfully, even a scolding. This is largely because I have done nothing wrong, but it's also partly due to Sabin not being himself.

Actually, none of them are.

For starters, Manny has been distant lately, hardly ever at home, and when he is, he isolates himself in his room. During dinner, he barely speaks and seems to be under the influence all of the time, which is making Pedro on his case a lot.

Now Pedro is straight up freaking me out. There are moments when he stops abruptly whatever he's doing, clutching his chest in pain, which triggers memories of my father's final moments every time it happens. He then always tries to brush it off as overeating or stress about Manny.

Sabin is distant and quiet. At night would be the exception as he's very cuddly, but that's it. Not only has he ceased disciplining me, but he has also yet to reward me.

I'm trying not to be insensitive. I know he's still grieving, but this kitty is begging for it every time I even get a whiff of him.

At this point, I'm about to pull a page from Eliza and purposefully earn myself a spanking just for some attention.

That's probably a bad idea now that I'm saying it.

But it's like he's given me a taste of something delicious and then taken the bowl away.

It's unfair. I've been obedient and helpful with the home and kids without complaint.

Speaking of the kids, I'm really concerned about their behavior. Lately, they've been continuously fighting with each other about anything and everything. Strangely enough, it only happens when I'm the sole one at home. The moment someone else arrives, they stop in an instant. It's really starting to wear me down, and I have no idea how to make them stop without snitching on them.

Thankfully, it's not physical fights; Pedro really got his point across the last time that happened. Nope, now it's shouting matches, and they are getting out of control.

The other day, I was seconds away from getting Jason from his home when I saw his truck. But the thought of him whooping them too harshly crossed my mind, and I couldn't pull myself to do it.

He scares me.

There's just something about him I can't pinpoint.

So I knew I'd regret it seeing them get punished, especially little Benji. She is such a delicate young girl, and at times, I can't help but feel that her brothers treat her as if she were just another grown man like themselves, not realizing how fragile she really is. It's no wonder she's developed such toughness.

On the topic of Benji, I'm not entirely sure about the details of her falling out with Sabin. But it's evident, to me at least, that she actively avoids him on most days. It seems like Sabin is so consumed by his own thoughts that he hasn't even picked up on the situation...

My only conclusion to the ongoing turmoil seems to stem from the grief that this family is currently grappling with.

*** 

 Today, I plan to make spaghetti for dinner. The commissary had pasta and ground turkey, so I grabbed some. I think the extra carbs will help keep us warm, too. The wind is really starting to howl, and I have a feeling that snow is just around the corner.