Orphans of the night

Chapter 22

Old photos

"How fucking could you!" I screamed as I threw the pillow I was holding at Demi "Lizzy, calm down" "No! Your just like everybody else" I stood up and marched to my room with Demi following closely behind me "stay away from me! I hate you!" I shouted at the top of my lungs "Lizzy you need to listen to me" she said trying to calm me down. I grabbed my backpack and quickly threw a couple of things in it ignoring her pleads.

Demi raced me to the front door and stood infront of it "Move!" I shouted "I need you to calm down first" she said in a shaky voice. I looked around and started throwing things at her. I dont know why I was acting like this, I didn't want to but I couldn't control myself "I hate you!" I screamed as I threw everything in arms reach at her "Lizzy. Stop!" She finally shouted as she held her hands over of her face.

I stopped throwing things at her but kept looking at her dangerously. I started feeling really guilty as we both just stared at each other trying to catch our breath. She looked scared and her eyes were red as she fought back tears. She sighed "if you wanna leave... you can leave, but let me show you something first" she said softly "what?" I snapped.
She took a deep breath and I watched her as she pulled out her phone and scrolled through it.

She stopped when she found what she was looking for and looked at me sadly, before cautiously walking towards me "look" she said holding the phone out for me to see. I looked at it annoyed and confused "ok? and? Who is that?" I spat. Demi exhaled sadly "...hunny, that's you" she whispered gently. I dropped my backpack and snatched the phone off her and studied the photo. It was me, it was a selfie of me and Demi the day she took me out to eat. I had ordered the burger and I could see it in the photo. My facial expression softened. There was no denying that the girl in the photo was me, except... she was pale, her eyes were sunken and blood shot red with dark circles under both eyes, her hair was a mess, she was boney and looked really sick.

"We took that photo over a month ago... and we took this one two days ago" Demi said gently as she swiped to a more recent photo. I gasped as I saw the difference in only a month. My smile was real, my skin was glowing and my face looked younger and more plump "you were so unwell hunny" she said sadly. I looked at Demi and then back at the photos. Swiping back and forth between them "I was dying" I whispered to myself. Demi exhaled through her nose emotionally with a crooked smile.

"You saved me" I said handing her back her phone feeling a little ashamed at how I'd reacted "I know what I did hurt you, but it was the only thing I could do to get you to stay. I couldn't sit back and watch you keep going down this path when I wanted to help you. There's a famous saying, you gotta be cruel to be kind" Demi let her tears run down her face. I took a few steps back and looked down at my feet "I'm sorry. Thank you for everything you've done for me" I said sheepishly "it's okay, I forgive you"

***

Demi told me to go and sit in my room for a little bit to 'calm down' while she cleaned the mess I'd made. I didn't protest though, I went and sat on my bedroom floor. I let guilty tears run down my cheeks. I couldn't believe I'd snapped like that, it was like I had no control over myself. I was furious with Demi but I never wanted to hurt her the way I did.

After some time had passed I quietly snuck out of my room to go and talk to Demi. She was sitting on the couch with her head in her hands, she looked defeated which just made me feel even more guilty.

"Demi?" I said quietly. She looked up and quickly changed her expression to a smile but I could see the hurt in her eyes "what's up, are you okay?" She asked. I slowly walked over to her "uh...are you okay?" I asked joining her on the couch. She sighed "I dont know" she said honestly. I nodded and looked down.

"I'm really sorry" was the best I could say. I'd never hurt someone I cared about before and felt this type of guilt and regret "why did you get angry so quickly" she asked sadly looking at me with her big brown eyes. It was then I noticed a mark on her face which I assumed would have been from my outburst. I shrunk and shifted uncomfortably "I think I was just scared" I said quietly "scared of what hunny?" I took a deep breath "scared of you" I whispered looking away. Demi widened her eyes looking at me confused "scared of me?" She asked shocked. I nodded "why?" She asked. I rubbed my temples feeling really stressed out.

"I really trusted you, I felt hurt and I-I" I stuttered as I broke down. If I couldn't trust Demi then no one in this world could be trusted "I just didn't want you to hurt me like that... so I" I paused "you wanted to hurt me first" Demi sighed finishing my sentence as if she understood completely. I nodded in response "but now you understand why I did it?" She asked gently. I nodded again "sometimes, people that care about you will do things they know might upset you in order to keep you safe. It doesn't mean they want to hurt you. It's the last thing I ever wanted"

Demi and I sat in silence. I didn't know what to say. I'd heard the saying 'you gotta be cruel to be kind' before but I never understood it. She had already forgiven me and I didn't deserve that.