Angelus Ultionis

Chapter 4

Jane's POV:

My heart was pounding in my chest, each beat echoing louder in my ears as I waited. Six hours. Six agonizing hours of waiting while the doctors worked on Tommy, my precious little boy. I couldn’t sit still, pacing the hallway outside the surgery room, my mind racing with fear and guilt.

The moment the door opened, and the doctor stepped out, removing his mask, my heart nearly stopped. “Excuse me, family of Tommy?” His voice cut through the tension like a knife.

I rushed forward, my voice shaky. “Yes, that’s me. I’m Jane, his mother. How is Tommy?” The words tumbled out, barely coherent, as panic surged through me. My brother Michael was right beside me, holding my hand firmly, and Sally stood close, gently patting my back, trying to offer some comfort in this unbearable moment.

The doctor took a deep breath, his expression serious. “Okay, please bear with me, ma’am. Tommy is safe for now. He got shot in the lungs and lost a lot of blood. The surgery went well, but he’s still in critical condition. He should wake up in a few days, but we need him to heal and rest. I have to be honest with you—we can’t promise anything yet. He’s still under observation, and we’ll do everything we can.”

My knees buckled, my breath catching in my throat. The relief of hearing “safe for now” clashed with the terror of not knowing if he would truly be okay. My heart skipped too many beats, the weight of the doctor’s words settling heavily in my chest.

As the doctor walked away, I felt my strength leave me. My legs gave out, and I collapsed into Michael’s arms. He quickly laid me down on a nearby hospital bed, the world around me spinning. They hooked me up to a drip, trying to calm my body’s frantic response, but nothing could quiet the storm in my mind.

I lay there, staring at the ceiling, wondering how everything had come to this. Tommy was fighting for his life, and I couldn’t protect him. The guilt gnawed at me, tearing me apart from the inside. What kind of mother am I? How did I let this happen to my sweet boy?

Tears streamed down my face as I thought of Tommy, so small, so innocent. All I wanted was to hold him, to tell him everything would be okay, but I couldn’t. I felt helpless, consumed by the fear that I might lose him—my heart breaking over and over again.

As I slowly woke up, the hazy blur of the hospital room came into focus, and I immediately felt a weight on my chest. My heart ached, and the moment I remembered where I was, panic rushed over me. I sat up quickly, looking around frantically.

Sally was right by my side, gently placing a hand on my shoulder. "Hey, hey, Jane. It's okay. Just breathe," she whispered softly, her voice soothing, though it did little to calm the storm inside me.

"I need to see Tommy... Where is he? Is he okay?" My voice trembled as I tried to get up, the panic making it hard to think straight.

Sally gently pressed me back down. "Hold on, Jane. Just breathe for a moment." Her eyes, though tired, were filled with concern and love. Michael moved the curtain that divided us, revealing Tommy lying in the bed just across from me. The sight of him, small and still, hooked up to tubes and monitors, made my heart twist painfully. But at least he was here, breathing.

I let out a shaky breath, calming slightly as I looked at him, his peaceful face resting in the bed. "How can I be this bad of a mother?" I whispered, the guilt overwhelming me again. "How did I let this happen? I couldn’t protect him."

Sally pulled me into a tight hug, her arms warm and strong, like she was holding all the pieces of me together. "Jane, look at me," she said firmly, pulling back slightly to meet my eyes. "You are a good mother. Don’t you dare think otherwise. This isn’t your fault. You did everything you could to protect him."