Taking a crisp, white shirt from his closet, Shawn laid it out on the black, duvet cover that covered his bed and then took the five steps he knew would land him at his black, metal, shoe rack.
Taking a pair of expensive, black, Italian, leather loafers he took the five steps back to his bed and then laid them on the floor
15 steps got him to the freshly pressed trousers that hung against his door and 15 steps got him back to his bed.
Laying the trousers against the shirt, he gazed down at what he classed as his 'work uniform' and then ran a hand over his buzz cut
20 steps got him to his en suite as he pulled off his crisp, white T-shirt, folded it immaculately and then placed it gently onto an empty, wooden shelf.
Kicking off his black chinos, Shawn closed his eyes and tried to gain control of his breathing, to gain a control over his mind he knew he had to have otherwise everything would begin to spiral and he knew he couldn't afford for his life to spiral any further out of his control than it already was
Kicking off his white, Calvin Klein boxers, he allowed himself a brief moment to enjoy the cool breeze that swept over his naked body, allowed himself the feeling of freedom he so rarely allowed himself to acknowledge. Free from the fabric of clothing, briefly free of the restraints of his life and his mind
Allowing his eyelids to drop shut he finally gave his breathing the chance to rage out of his control, his mind filled with image after image, regret and pride mixing amongst the irony scent of blood
The blond...
1... breath in, breath out...
The blood... both boiling within him and then coating his knuckles and his clothes
2... breath...
The cold night air filling his lungs as he walked quickly from the scene. He wouldn't run, he never ran, Shawn Mendes didn't run from anyone or anything!
And then just like a thunder bolt his mind was filled with her
The scent of her suddenly filling every empty part of him
3... in...
The water scalding his skin
'Shawn... baby...'
He viciously shook his head, trying to shake her scent from his skin
4... out...
Tipping a cleansing antiseptic onto his shredded skin, loving the way the pain electrified his senses.
That scent...
Gripping the edge of the sink, he gritted his perfectly straight, white, teeth and tried to calm the heart that was beginning to panic within his chest
5... in...
Taking his dick in his hands and beginning to move as he replayed images of the broken, blond man. His face battered, his body forced into distorted angles as Shawn stared him straight in the eye, trying to communicate that this is what happens to anyone that touches anything that is his
His brother...
His protector when they were children and now the tables had turned and Shawn was his
'Come back to bed... I miss you'
6... out...
The release, the moment of ultimate pleasure as he remembered how the man had gone limp in his arms, how his breathing had stilled, that moment of ultimate dominance, that moment when he decided whether the guy lived or whether he died
'Baby do you want coffee or do you want me?'
7... in, in...
Slamming his already damaged fist into the glass mirror of his wardrobe
'Baby you look tense, let me stroke your back...'
8... out...
Dropping to his knees his arms covering his head as his forehead rested hard against the marble floor
'Shawn...'
9... nothing... his chest tense
His head lifting and then dropping hard against the marble floor, over and over his voice a low groan as the contact continued
'Shawn...'
10...
The blood slipping over his forehead, splashing against the bathroom floor, the acute pain ripping across his skin
'I love you, I've always loved you, I will always love you'
And then the darkness, the skull connecting with the floor, the flash of light, the bright stars and then the calm, the blackness, the nothingness, the place where Shawn allowed his soul to rest
*editing on this app has gone to shit, sorry It's not written as I wanted it to be
