Looking back, that entire day is a blank.
A nothing sort of day in a nothing sort of life, no sign, no warning of the moment that was to come, the moment that would cause my entire world to pause and then spin completely out of my control, causing every tiny thing I thought I knew about myself to fly into the wind and be completely and utterly rearranged forever
It's 6pm on a warm May evening
My 6 year old nephews hand is in mine as we push past 2, then 4 then 6 parents.
Looking back, the three sixes should have been a warning in themselves but I just pushed on, around the corner of the gym, through the heavy wooden doors, up the stairs and then it happened...
On the third landing feet appeared when I didn't expect them to. My hands went up to protect myself and landed on a hard chest
"Sorry" I whispered as my head snapped up and the first eye contact was made. His head turned in my direction as he continued to move and my eyes moved with him.
Our gaze caught dramatically for just a few seconds before he was gone but in that instant everything had changed
Looking back, I wonder, if the CCTV operators found the tape and rewound it to that very moment, whether they would be able to tell just by looking at it that they had captured love at first sight happening right before their very eyes
**************************************
"Mila!!!"
A brunette launches herself into my arms as though she hasn't seen me in a hundred years but in truth it's only been 4 days
"You look tired, aren't you sleeping? Are you eating ok? Drinking plenty water??"
"Sel, I'm sleeping fine, eating plenty of fruit and vegetables and drinking so much water I'm lucky I haven't drowned yet"
We walk arm in arm towards a booth at the back of my favourite fast food restaurant and just as I take a breath she announces to the nearest server that we will need a bottle of red wine and 2 of the biggest burgers they sell and a bowl of fries big enough to bath in.
I rest my head in my hands as the servers raspy laugh rings out and then the low 'yes mam' tells me Selena has just become a target of interest to yet another man.
Selena and men...
Like moths and fire...
"So it's not starvation or dehydration, it's not a lack of sleep then it has to be... a man!!! Ok, tell me everything, what's his name? What does he do... is he doing you?!"
She gasps in an animated fashion and then clutches a hand to her chest
"Tell me he's good, you deserve good, so, so good"
"He isn't doing me" her face drops "In fact he probably doesn't even know I'm alive"
In my mind I see his face that day, the way his eyes sought out mine, the way his head refused to turn away and I know without doubt he knows I'm alive but that was 3 weeks ago and I haven't seen or heard anything since.
If I'm being honest I had assumed he would track me down on social media, we would flirt and maybe sext and then meet and it would all fall effortlessly into place but no, three weeks later and I've heard and seen nothing more of him, no matter how many times I loiter around the gym
And yes, I've stalked every form of social media that I could.
Every gym friend, every friend, how can you find a tall guy with the most amazing golden coloured eyes if u have no information other than he was at the gym on a Tuesday night...
"Come back to me Mila..." she clicks her fingers in front of my face and I'm aware I had completely zoned out, lost in the memory of that moment
"Sorry" I say shyly whilst shaking my head, unaware of how a stranger can have my brain swimming the way he has
"TF Fitness right?" She asks and I notice her fingers moving over the screen on her phone. I can only nod as she raises a perfect, black eyebrow and focuses on the screen before her "Tall?"
"Way taller than me"
"As is ever person on this planet" She just with a giggle tickling her voice "Buff or lanky?"
"Buff... I guess" I feel my forehead crinkle, wondering what his physical appearance can have to do with her searching
"So more likely to be a gym rat" she concludes and I smile at how beautiful and smart and funny my best friend is, just as a bottle of wine and two glasses find there way to our table, the guy on the end of them with his eyes set firmly on the person sat next to me
"It's uh... it's on me" he says shyly, his gaze catching Selena's and then lingering a moment too long and I watch as a pink glow paints his cheeks
"Thank you" she says whilst picking up her purse and rummaging in it before taking out a 50 and placing it on the table "But I have a boyfriend, I appreciate the gesture but can't accept it"
She smiles the most beautiful smile at the man, her full, red painted lips pulling upwards as her almost black eyes sparkle and I'm aware that although he's disappointed he's also as impressed as I am at her honesty, her lack of taking what she can get at someone else's expense, he picks up the fifty and then takes out his wallet and places 40 onto the table
"I'll buy your friends half of the bottle" he smiles and then winks and Sel grins winder and nods as the man walks two steps backwards, as if burning her face into his memory before he turns and disappears into the sea of other diners
"So the guy..." she says excitedly as she starts pouring me a humongous glass of wine
"There's no Guy Sel..."
"Oh there's definitely a guy..." she moves the bottle to her own glass and fixes me with a look that makes my heart beat race "Facebook tells me so and therefore it must be true" her eyes sparkle with mischief and I try to raise my glass to my lips but I feel my hand shaking at just the thought of the words about to spill over her perfectly, plump pout
"Tell me" my voice is barely a whisper
"His name..." she draws out the sentence and I physically can't bare it
"Tell me" my voice finds a strength I don't feel because my heart is pounding in my ribcage at a speed I'm not sure the bones can withstand
"Shawn..."
"Shawn?" I repeat with that weakness once more
"Shawn Mendes, that's him right?!" She asks excitedly as she pushes her phone as close to my face as possible without breaking my nose "I'm your best friend, I know the eyes that will make your knees shake and your panties wet"
"That's him..." I grab the phone away from her and take the opportunity to gaze upon him properly for the first time since we met.
The man that sent my entire world spinning with just one look
The short, dark hair, the sparkling, golden eyes...
And then his physique...
His height...
I feel my breath become shallow, my heart pound harder
Fuck...
I'm in all kinds of trouble
