Wildflowers and Tattoos (The Crow: Bill Skarsgard)

Chapter 10

𓅩Erik𓅩

Lillie's outside again, running through our physical activities regime, just like she has for the past two days. Unlike that day two days ago, I don't try to hide my staring. We both know how we feel about each other, even if she doesn't admit it out loud. I see the storm of emotions rustle in her eyes everytime I hint at something deeper than friendship. I feel the racing beat of her pulse every time I hold her hand. I hear the way her breathing stutters when I lean over her. Even if she won't say it, or doesn't know what it is, my feelings for her are mutually returned. Her body speaks what her mouth won't, and her feelings were confirmed in the way she looked up at me yesterday, when I let her hold me against the wall in her room.

I never would have thought I'd fall in love at rehab, but that looks exactly like what's happened. The moment I saw her in my nightmares, I had a feeling she was going to be important to me. The fear I felt watching her eyes glass over was like none I'd ever felt. I knew I didn't want her to die, and I still don't know what about her drew me in exactly, but I know I don't want to let her go. In the few weeks I've known her, she's managed to find a spot in my soul.

Her chocolate irises lock on mine, to catch my observing for the twelfth time. The grin that she gives brightens my day, despite the cloudy weather. I can't help but to return her smile with one of my own.

To my great dismay, the guard that has made it his life's mission to piss me off cuts off my view of Lillie. "What the fuck are you smiling about?"

It takes every ounce of self control in my body to avert my gaze instead of rolling my eyes. I look straight ahead, entirely ignoring the guard's words.

"Ohh." He says, turning his eyes away from me. "Yeah, I'd smile at that too. Psycho Freak's a pretty little thing, too bad she's batshit."

My jaw clenches, and I know I fucked up by giving him a reaction, because he keeps talking.

He chuckles. "So it's basket cases that get you going? Damn, here we had a bet going that took it up the ass." He laughs again, the sound full of insult. "Hell, maybe she does give it to you up the ass. I saw the way she beat the living hell out of that guy, nearly tore one of his eyes out." The guard leans close to me and inquires quietly: "Tell me, what's she use, all hell knows she must get creative with the shit you guys have access to."

I think I might have lunged at his throat, had a little hand not tangled in mine. I glance downwards, met with the same wet-mahogany colored eyes I was previously staring at. The way she's looking up at me immediately tightens a coil in my lower abdomen.

Shit, she needs to stop or I'll do something that'll get us both in trouble.

Taking my hand not in her, I place it over her eyes, hiding them from my sight. I exhale tensely. I look around the courtyard to see that most of the residents have gone inside, leaving only a handful scattered across the cement. We must have been released while I was being taunted with the one thing I care about in this shit hole.

Turning back towards the guard, I find him glaring at Lillian and my intertwined hands. With a cruel smirk I respond to his last sentence. "Why do you want to know? You need some ideas for your own bedroom games? I'd be happy to recommend a few guys here that are well known for their... creativity."

The man growls, but says nothing else and turns to do go do whatever fucked up rehab guards do. I wait for him to move far enough away, before I turn my attention back to Lillie. Slowly removing my hand from her eyes I am able to see the amusement in them, which is still not good for my hormones, but infinitely better than the innocently questioning gaze I looked into moments ago.

"What was that about?" Her question is spoken with a giggle.

"Not much." I shrug, looking unbothered. "He just wanted to know what we did in the bedroom."

"Oh."

"Yea."

"Are you okay?" She asks softly, as she begins to pull me towards the main building.

I shrug. "I guess."

"You don't have to be. You don't have to be okay with how they treat you."

"I know. I don't care what they say about me, but I didn't like him talking about you." I explain.

"Oh." Lillie's dark brows pull together, likely not used to having someone else care about what's said regarding her.

I laugh lightly, trying to ease her. She seems fairly relaxed today, and doesn't have that slightly lost edge to her features that she's had every day except for yesterday. I like this looser version of her. She's been more open since yesterday morning, and I think it has something to do with her realization that she has some sort of feelings for me. When she's relaxed she's not thinking about the shit that fucks with her head, and when shit's not fucking with her head she's here. I've still only seen little bits and pieces of her, but I know she's a wild flame waiting to burst through the shadow of her demons. She's sarcastic, and witty, and fun, and creative, and a little crazy (in a good way). Ever since defending me, she's also been angry, not at me, but I see the harsh glares she throws at guards and any of the guys that so much as look in my direction. She's so much more than the little quiet ball that hides in corners, and I'm beyond ecstatic that I'm the one she's showing herself to, that I'm the one that coaxed her out of hiding.

"Lillian." Jules calls out, almost as soon as we enter the 'lobby' of the facility.

Lillie looks up, her eyebrows raising at the female approaching us.

Jules smiles down at Lillie when she reaches us. "I know you've been feeling better the last few days, but I know the meds make you feel crappy. So, I asked for them to look into getting you different ones. They have a new one that they think will work the same, but with less negative side effects, which is why I didn't come get you after groups."

Lillie looks up at me warily, squeezing my hand.

"I'll come find you for lunch." I nod, assuring her that she can leave.

She shakes her head.

My smile drops, but before I can ask her what's wrong, Jules pulls her away. Lillian glances back at me over her shoulder, eyes wide and... full of fear.

Fuck.

I shouldn't have let her go, and I can't even follow her without undoubtedly 'breaking' some rule and being locked in my room the rest of the night.

As soon as she's done, she'll almost certainly be in her room. I'll make sure she's okay, without getting either of us in trouble, and I'll figure out why she was scared. She hasn't looked like that since the first day, when she was screaming her head off.

This isn't good.