Silent Heart, Hidden Desires

7

The morning light was a harsh reminder of the night's events. I stood before the bathroom mirror, my reflection a stark accusation, my neck and jaw were a canvas of crimson. A tapestry of his hunger, a testament to the way he devoured me, a canvas where he painted his dark desires. Panic clawed at my throat. How could I hide this? My classes started in a few hours.

"What am I going to do?" I whispered, my voice laced with desperation. The mirror seemed to mock me, highlighting the severity of my predicament. The bathroom door creaked open, revealing Alistair, his face a mask of indifference. Why is he here?

"You look... troubled." he said, his voice devoid of any emotion. "Is something wrong?"

I flinched back, my heart hammering against my ribs. "It's your fault! You went too far last night!" I snapped, my voice laced with frustration.

He stepped closer, his gaze unwavering. "It's your fault for breaking my rules." he countered, his voice a low growl. "You should have known better."

"It's not like I'm the only one who breaks your rules." I retorted, my voice laced with a venomous twist. "What about that girl you were with the other day?"

Shocked is evident in his eyes, wondering how come I know, but immediately replaced with no emotion. "I sent her home early." Alistair confessed, his voice rough with barely suppressed emotion. "Every time I kissed her, all I could think about was you. I was so aroused, so consumed by the image of you in your room, singing. Your voice, so beautiful, so captivating, it made me crave you moaning in my ear, at my room. The way your voice made my blood burn... I knew it was wrong, a sin I couldn't commit, but the desire was a wildfire in my veins. You were just nineteen. It was a dangerous, intoxicating fantasy. Instead of giving in to a regret I'd never forgive myself for, I called my usual fling. We kissed, but nothing more. It was a hollow victory, a desperate attempt to silence the echo of your voice in my head. All I could see was your face, hear your voice, feel the phantom touch of your lips. It was a torment, a hunger that could never be satisfied."

I stared at him, my mouth slightly parted in surprise. The confession hangs heavy in the air, a revelation that shattered the carefully constructed facade of our evening. Alistair's words, raw and vulnerable, painted a picture I hadn't anticipated. It all made sense now. The restless energy he'd exuded during our dinner, the way his gaze seemed to linger on mine, the almost desperate need to be away from me, because he knows himself that if he take to long near me he's gonna lose it. He'd been aroused, consumed by a desire he couldn't explain, a desire he couldn't control.

The realization struck me like a bolt of lightning, illuminating that night's confusion. Alistair's confession was a window into his soul, a glimpse of the depths of his feelings for me. And as I looked into his eyes, I saw a reflection of my own unspoken desires, a longing that mirrored his own.

"That's reasonable, but still-" I bit my lip, my eyes flickering to the floor. "It's just... hard to hear, you know? I mean, I know you're a man, and men have... needs. But it's hard not to feel a little..." I trailed off, unable to articulate the jealous sting that pricked at my heart. "It's just... I wish I could have been the one you were thinking about doing that thing."

Alistair's gaze holds mine, a flicker of amusement dancing in his eyes. He leans in, a slow, predatory smile curving his lips. "Are you jealous?" he asks, his voice a low rumble that sends shivers down my spine.

"No." I say, my voice barely a whisper. But the lie tastes bitter on my tongue. The truth, a tangled mess of possessiveness and desire, chokes me from within. I want to deny it, to brush it aside as a fleeting emotion, but the truth is too raw, too real to ignore.

He chuckles, a low, rumbling sound that sends a shiver down my spine. "Don't lie to me, Lia." he says, his voice a silken caress. "I can see it in your eyes, the way you're biting your lip, the way you're avoiding my gaze. You're jealous, and it's intoxicating."