✨geneas✨

The future...

The world blurred around me, sky blending into grass,  colors bleeding together. Or maybe that was just the tears spilling down my face, burdening the innocent earth with my rage and sorrow. I didn't know what I was running from, exactly. Perhaps it was my guilt. Or perhaps it was from the war. The war had grasped its tentacles around our throats, strangling us until we couldn't breath, couldn't be free until we enlisted. Or perhaps it was seeing Finny lying helplessly in that hospital bed, his tan reduced to the same pallid color of the sickly walls. His white cast encircled his leg, his leg that had sturdily supported him throughout his life. Running free, Finny admired the little details of life. He always found reasons to live. I will never forget the way his face dropped when I told him I was planning to enlist. His eyes spoke volumes, his emerald green eyes which were perpetually creased from laughing. He needed me. And I needed him. We worked in tandem, supporting each other in highs and lows. Except for when I didn't support him high on that branch. And he fell, and fell, and as he fell I fell with him. Perhaps that was why I was running- a part of me was injured when Finny was injured. I was Phineas, Phineas to life. And...maybe that scared me. Maybe I was running because I was scared to feel for him. I was scared to care. I did not want to feel as I did that day on the beach. I was scared to love.