Abby 2: Abigail

Chapter 6

My Christian Louboutin pumps tapped a staccato pattern against the unforgiving sidewalk. After months of walking these streets, I now navigated through the crowd of pedestrians with ease. My off-the-shoulder black dress clung to my curves like paint on canvas, my blond hair falling in soft waves past my shoulders, swaying with every step. Some men stole glances as I passed, but unlike the shy woman I used to be, I was indifferent to it now.

I sidestepped a man who almost clipped me with his umbrella, my annoyance turning to amusement at his panicked expression as he dodged a puddle. I could see the headline in tomorrow's gossip rags now. 'Woman Dead: Victim of a rogue umbrella!' The thought made me smile as I continued down the street.

A cacophony of honking taxis, the chatter of passersby, and the distant wail of sirens all blended into a background of urban noise. The air carried a mixture of damp earth and exhaust fumes, a unique blend of city life I had grown accustomed to over the last eight months. A group of tourists armed with cameras made me think of Eden, and I wondered if he was practicing his photography just then. Although I had only left his mansion the day before yesterday, my body already yearned for his touch.

I turned the corner at the crosswalk, passing the rows of brownstone houses. Their warm brick facades, wrought-iron gates, and blooming trees gave a respite from the concrete jungle nearby. Another couple brushed past me. Tangled in each other's embrace, laughter spilling from their lips, their public display of affection sharply contrasted the somber tone of my reflections. Were they in love? Or perhaps only something masquerading as such?

Love was not a simple thing for me to come to terms with. For most of my life, I struggled to accept the truth of what I wanted inside. My childhood of religious indoctrination had made any sort of sexual freedom taboo. Then, when I met Dan, even though things seemed right initially, I found out he didn't reciprocate my desires in the bedroom. But he was long gone, and his cheating had only propelled me further into a world of sexual self-discovery, freeing me from past guilt and shame. Free from having to open my heart to anyone again.

With Eden, everything was a breath of fresh air. Our relationship was unlike anything I had ever experienced before. He understood my sexual needs in ways that no one else ever had. He looked beyond the pain and the heartbreak I was going through after Dan and gave me exactly what I needed, what I craved, even my working at the Fleur-de-lis. My journey of sexual exploration with him pushed my boundaries while still ensuring my safety. It unlocked desires within me I had hidden for too long. But was it love? And did I even want it to be?

My restless footsteps carried me onward, split between two worlds. On the one hand, I enjoyed giving myself to Eden, trusting him to show me new heights of pleasure that I'd never dreamed of, yet on the other, I yearned for control. To take charge of my destiny and never allow myself to be vulnerable enough to be hurt again.

The sidewalk led me to a small Italian cafe that Madeleine introduced me to a few weeks earlier. As I stepped inside, I sensed a man staring at me. Attractive and well put together, he might have just said hello, striking up a friendly conversation. But his stare was intense, raking over my body. Goosebumps erupted on my skin as if he had reached out and touched me. The predatory eye, the leering grin, all with a facade of wealth and taste. I'd seen it enough times at the club to recognize his type in a heartbeat.

"Can I help you?"

My steady voice betrayed none of my unease. The hyper-awareness that came with being an attractive woman in a world where you were too often viewed as prey always grated on me. This was the side of being noticed that I despised—the side that had the potential for harm and was the very antithesis of what we worked to create at the club. There, consent and respect were the foundation, not this animalistic ogling that made women feel threatened and unsafe.