Beside

23 - grapple

"Jellybean, what's the best gift you've ever gotten?"

"When you hugged me when I was sad. It was rainy. You were sunshine, Fox."

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

c  h  r  i  s

Charlie snoozes on the couch, his tiny paws twitching as if he's chasing something in a dream.

Cam and Noah are at the island matching in dark hoodies with different GoldwenU logos. He tucks a curl of her hair behind her ear as she traces the rim of his coffee cup, talking about something quietly.

I straighten the hem of my blue knitted sweater, the soft wool catching the early light as I glance down at my white skirt.

"Chris!" Cam jumps from her seat, snatching a plastic bag from the counter. She shoves it into my hands. Inside are notebooks, bright like rainbows. There's a planner too, the cover adorned with butterflies. "Whitney says you love butterflies. So, now you've got a flock. Are they a flock? A bundle? Doesn't matter."

A lump forms in my throat. I swallow it down, blinking as warmth spreads through my chest. "Thank you so much."

She waves it off, but I can see the pride. "You've been stalling on choosing your classes for weeks, so this is me helping you out. Consider it a kick in the ass."

Her words are light, but I'm dragged to a time I'd rather not remember. The IV line that snaked through my arm all the way to my heart. I'd trace the tubes, turn them into vines, spiralling with life, butterflies perched on its leaves, their wings soft whispers of freedom.

No one brought me colourful pens or cute notebooks back then. We were all too focused on survival.

"You better use it, okay?" Cam turns and jogs back to Noah. She hops onto a stool. "Fox says he's been showing you around all the older buildings. I highly doubt he's very effective as a guide. Don't let him get you into trouble on campus."

Her words hit like tiny jolts of electricity. Did Fox say something to Noah? No, he wouldn't. Would he? My mind races, my palms suddenly clammy. What if he told Noah everything? What if Noah tells Cam, and then everyone knows? I'll die. I'll actually die.

Cam straightens, clapping her hands together. "Wait! Noah has a—a thing, um—"

"Colloquium," Noah says as he pulls Cam's curls off her shoulder to kiss her neck.

"Yeah, that thing. He's famous, you know. They begged him to speak. Isn't that cool? I called Whitney this morning and she said she'd love to come, she just has to get the night off work. I meant to ask you yesterday, but... but... " She struggles to shake Noah off her, his lips on her neck. She groans, trying not to laugh. "Noah!"

"You don't have to feel pressure to attend," Noah says, his voice genuine as he rests his chin on Cam's shoulder.

But Camila mouths, Yes you do.

I let out a small laugh. "I'd love to. Um, where's Fox?"

"At Skyfall," Cam says, leaning back into Noah, giving up trying to fight him off. "He does an hour-prep. Silence, stretching, thinking. Let's go. Jed's meeting us there."

Oh god.

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

F O X

Control. Restraint. Power.

The wrap stretches across my knuckles like skin. Skin, but tough. Skin, but stiff. The crowd's muffled roar filters through the concrete walls of the locker room. I've been here before. I know the drill. Every punch I've ever thrown is locked in place, waiting.