Goretober 2024

15. Self-Inflicted

Y'know when you feel so energetic but you don't have any reason to do smth active? So you hit your body parts to "calm them down?"

Exiting a portal, Swap couldn't stop how fast his soul beat. It was out of pure adrenaline after the absolute battle that had just happened. It maybe was also a result of his own emotions.

He had gone against Nightmare, and hadn't died! He seemed to even shock the negative being!

That was mostly due to his outburst, but even with that, he still got one up on the so-called "king of negativity"!

His clothes were torn and disheveled, he was breathing as if he was on the verge of a panic or anxiety attack, fists clenched and bones shaking. His HP was still full despite his physical appearance, his emotional state could be somewhat comparable to ecstasy.

Dream followed after him, breathing heavily and having the same amount of tips and tears as Swap did. His magic was low but he's had worse fights. He looked at Swap who was breathing heavier yet slower than he was, the cloth that made up his gloves looked to strain from how tightly he held his fists.

"Swap?"

"Yeah?" His eyelights were dilated and he had a wide grin that was eerily wider than his regular happy grin. His fists seemed to unclench but only slightly, still a small concern for Dream who decided to tap into his emotions.

Ecstasy, exhaustion, pride, and excitement. Which were all normal emotions when it came to a mix of adrenaline and a feeling of accomplishment after going against a powerful guardian such as Nightmare as a mortal.

Especially considering his 1 HP, but to come out with no real losses, and forcing Nightmare to fall back while still standing was a definite feat that is impossible to most.

"Are you okay?"

Swap was still running on an adrenaline high, obviously to survive his soul went into overdrive trying to keep him alive and while it worked, it seemed as if it hadn't yet processed that he was fine, that it was safe and the battle was over.

"Yeah! Yeah why wouldn't it be? I just went against Nightmare!"

"Yeah, and that's very impressive" Dream rolled around his shoulders, stretching them as he walked towards the couch in the common room they found themselves in.

"Nightmare had to run! Because of me! He fled. Because of me! A mere mortal! Did you see his face Dream?! He looked scared for just a second! HA! Isn't that rich?!"

"It isn't something you see everyday"

"He didn't even taunt! He was silent as he tried to kill me! He didn't see me take out my hammell! I hit him so hard so went to the next-terday!"

Dream looked up at Swap's latest words during his ramblings and watched as he stumbled over his words. He was still breathing heavily and was pulling on his scarf. And he still had that eerily wide grin attached to his face.

His bones looked tense and Dream genuinely was concerned for his friend.

Ecstasy, anxiety, stress, glee

Dream grew more concerned for Swap, especially as he began to tug and tug on his scarf and rub his neck his hands rubbed against his pants but only for a few seconds before he continued moving around the room.

Swap hopped around, his boots stomping in the floor below as he continued talking, not noticing how he stumbled and stuttered over his words. He could not sit still and walked around the room. But that wasn't enough for Swap.

His feet felt as if they weren't doing enough, he wanted to roll around, to spin and dodge in different directions. He felt he could run for miles with his legs, they needed to be extended and pushed to the limit. His magic was strained and low but he felt the need to summon bones to attack or just to be on guard. He didn't know what to do with his arms, moving them around didn't help and they felt restricted, as if they weren't being properly stretched.

So the only reasonable thing to do was to hit his legs. Gripping his palms as tightly as he could as pain bruised his legs through his pants. He still jumped around, burning off steam, but he knew he needed to calm down but he felt as if he had more to show, to give out. He could fight against the Bad time trio! Ink! Dream! He could go against Nightmare again! Let's see if he gets away this time!

His legs hurt but he still had energy in him. He registered the pain but he still felt restricted. He had more to prove! He had more to show! Let him fight until he dusts! He can fight until his final breath!

Dream chased after Swap once he started hitting himself. He understood that he was feeling very intense emotions that caused him to do such things.

"Swap!"

The skeleton in question let out a breathless laugh as he looked at his friend. His eyes dilated and grin wider than ever. He was bouncing on his feet but no longer hopping in midair like he was before.

The guardian looked at the mortal in concern, putting his hands on his shoulders to keep him grounded. Swap's shoulder hunched together as his sockets and smile somehow widened and twitched.

"Swap, everything is fine. The battle is over"

"Yeah I know"

"Do you?" Swap's soul still beat quickly. He couldn't keep up with the amount of magic being processed and released through his soul.  His shoulders felt restricted but he could feel Dream's hands keeping him in place. His skull hurt, his legs felt bruised but not hurt. He didn't know if he'd lost any HP. He hoped he didn't. He couldn't think but he felt as if he was overestimating and examining things too far.

"Swap answer me." Dream looked serious because he was. He was calming and protecting his friend from himself. It was the least he could do and he would do it again over and over again if he had to.

Swap took a grounding breath but it quickly devolved into more hyperventilating and his soul beginning to panic instead of fueling any extra magic output. He grabbed onto his scarf and skull and his legs felt like they were stiff, they needed something, he needed to do more.

But he knew the battle was over. That it was done. And now it was just settling in.

He fought Nightmare. Against Dream's wishes. Out of anger and frustration. And he went in with no plan. Not knowing if he would come out alive to live through another day. What he thought were a few hours were only a few minutes. His soul was being pushed to its limits and still believed it was in critical danger.

He could've died. Not only by Nightmare, but by his own soul imploding in itself because of his own reckless actions.

He realized how incompetent he was at that moment. How the only reason he's alive is because Nightmare fled. Did he even flee? Was it out of pity? Did Dream waving him off? Or was Nightmare satisfied with the amount of negativity he solely produced that he left. Did he help Nightmare?

All these thoughts crowded his mind as he panicked further, he tried to be positive to help Dream, because clearly he didn't help at all in that AU. He couldn't calm himself down and yet tried desperately to relax despite his current realization.

Dream could feel he was running out of his original high and just consoled him. Rubbing his shoulders and his arms as he got him to settle down. Maybe walking to the couch a few steps away wasn't a good idea and just calming Swap down was top priority.