Whispers of the Forgotten

2.

"I belong to you?..."

It leaves too soon
Sorrow fills my heart
Watching the shadow of what could be
Longing for your touch

"You will NEVER leave me..."

"One day I will know real peace."

Megan

I rolled over in bed straightening out my body as much as I could until I felt my muscles start to relax on their own. I stayed flat on my stomach basking in the delightful feeling that my morning stretch brought me. I took a deep breath fully opening eyes.

Funny enough this calm feeling isn't that calming to me. I know how that sounds but it feels too peaceful right now. In all honesty, it feels fake like something is about to happen. I'm sure it has something to do with me being so used to the chaos of my past.

I felt my mood dim a bit because I don't want to live like that, in a shadow of my own happiness. Constantly wondering why everything around me feels so lackluster. I won't get too down on myself though because I can't help it right now. I do know I'm trying though and that's all that matters.

The sun was peeking through the slight opening in my curtains. I sat all the way up looking around my room that was decently lit from the slight sunlight. I got out of bed stretching once more. I discarded my nightwear before walking into the bathroom to cut on the shower. I stepped inside as the hot water stung my body a little.

I released a deep breath and lightly moaned in satisfaction at the sensation. I closed my eyes as the water cascaded over my chest. It was relaxing at first until I saw an image flash in my mind, almost as if the figure was right in front of my face, Him. I immediately shot my eyes open. Now I was anxious, nervous...

Panicking.

My heart started beating really fast. I hurriedly jumped out the shower wet and naked rushing back into my room. I snatched the hydroxyzine off the nightstand closest to me, getting the bottle open and popping a pill in my mouth.

I guzzled the water on my nightstand. Before sitting down on the ground next my bed. I was breathing so hard and it was getting frustrated. Slowly but surely I felt the horrid feeling begin to subside. I mentally scolded myself.

That was my own fault I should've taken my meds first. I still don't know what fully triggers me so I definitely should have been more cautious. I stood up and proceeded to take the rest of my medications. Paroxetine 20mg, Escitalopram 10mg. I threw them both back chasing them with a swig of water.

I sighed as a more neutral feeling began to wash over me, but that's way better than what was happening before. I walked back into the now super steamy bathroom due to the shower being on and stepped my damp body back inside of it to quickly finish showering.

With my shower complete, I went on to do the rest of my morning routine. After that, I threw on some pretty comfortable loungewear. I descended the stairs in the kitchen placing my phone on counter before opening up the fridge to decide on breakfast.

I don't want to do anything too crazy or over top. Easygoing in the motto for today. Today is definitely going to be a relaxation type of Me day. I typically would never do that, but my mom insisted that it will help me to become more grounded with emotions or something like that.

It made sense, so I figured I would take her advice on the matter this time. It can't hurt. I looked over at my ringing phone on the kitchen island and it looks like I spoke her into existence because what are the odds that she would call me right now.