Whispers of the Forgotten

3.

"Why are you doing this?"

"I feel so empty..."

While Love turns to dust
The soul will shake
Sobs ring through
Until the heart can no longer break

"But I love you, I-I've always loved you"

"Your soul is... lost..."

Beyonce

I sighed sitting in bed on the computer, researching as annoying as it is it's basically my job at this point. Never imagined I would be a work from home type of girl but here we are. Half the time I don't even know what I'm looking for, but whatever.

These past couple of month have been quite interesting. More riveting. I feel more hopeful and that's not a feeling I'm very familiar with. Granted there's no real difference in my normal boring routine. Well except for Megan. Megan is, she's cool well she's more than that.

She's actually one of the nicest people I've ever met. I'm not used to people being so kind and open to me. Even when my life was more exciting I guess you could say. I got so used to people making me feel small and less of myself. After a while I just learned to stay to myself. That didn't stop people from picking at me. Using me...

Hurting me.

These days it's different in general. My lifestyle doesn't consist of much but that's okay. That's all I can handle right now. I don't like how on edge I was at one point. This calmness though it can get boring, it's safe. To an extent. I don't think about much because my routine does not change.

Normally I'm stuck on one path and I just keep going passing the same obstacles which isn't the worst because that means I've encountered them before so they don't freak me out as much as they used to. My standard thought process doesn't change and I never expected it to.

I'm more of a one trick pony and nothing or no one has ever been able to change that. Until now because lately all I can think about is Megan. I often wonder if that is a good or bad thing. Cliff tells me it's bad, but Cliff tells me everything's bad so there's that. Sometimes he's right. Sometimes.

I know thinking about her so much probably doesn't seem normal but it's calming to me to do so. I think about the interactions I've had with her. What life looks like for her on a day to day basis? Why she is so nice to me? Do I remind her of someone? What made her move here? Is she running from something?

Why she seems so reserved? Did something happen to her? Why she doesn't tell me to leave her the fuck alone like she probably should? Maybe she's too nice. I could probably go down a rabbit hole of questions about her but I think for my sanity I'm gonna give it a rest for now.

I found myself constantly checking the time. It was becoming her and more difficult to focus on what I was trying to do. I started to get a little antsy as the time hit 6:01pm because I still haven't heard anything.

I tried to relax and be normal but when 6:30 rolled around I became slightly frustrated. With the window slightly cracked, I heard the revving of a car and I jumped up going to the window. I smiled brightly when I saw her car pull fully into the driveway.

"Oh Megan's home, I was getting nervous she's normally home by 6pm." I enthusiastically said to Cliff before going back to peeking out the window

"You should really find something better to do than stalking that girl" He spoke getting up from the bed.