𝐌𝐲 𝐄𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐠𝐚 | 𝐌𝐱𝐌 | 𝐦𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐠)

𝐌𝐲 𝐄𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐠𝐚 | 𝟙

| 𝙹𝚒 𝙷𝚘

The fluorescent lights buzzed overhead as I locked up the convenience store for the night.
2 a.m., the usual end to another long shift. My feet ached, my side throbbed, and my mind wouldn't stop racing. It wasn't the exhaustion that weighed me down — it was everything else.

I jammed my hands into my pockets and started walking home, the cold night air biting at my skin. The street was empty, except for the occasional flickering streetlight. My steps echoed in the silence, the sound a little too lonely.

I thought about how things used to be, before my mom left. I could barely remember her face now, just flashes of her smile. She had been the only thing good in my life. After she left, it was just me and my dad... or, what was left of him.

My chest tightened at the memory of tonight's argument. I winced, feeling the bruise on my side where his fist had landed. I didn't want to give him any money this time. I couldn't. Tuition was due soon, and if I didn't pay, that was the end of school for me. But trying to explain that to a drunk, angry gambler? Pointless.

I'd have to skip breakfast tomorrow, maybe lunch too. I couldn't afford much else if I wanted to keep studying. I sighed, rubbing my face as I turned down the narrow path between the trees. The forest loomed on either side of me, dark and quiet except for the occasional rustling of branches. The path home always felt longer at night, the shadows stretching far ahead.

The old stone steps that led further up into the woods creaked under my weight as I ascended, one by one, each step heavier than the last. The wind rustled through the trees, and I looked up, my breath catching. The moon was full tonight, bright and round, casting a soft, silvery glow over everything. It was beautiful, almost otherworldly.

I stopped for a moment, letting myself forget everything, if only for a second. The moon looked so far away, so peaceful.

"Wish I could just disappear up there," I whispered to myself, though no one was around to hear.

I turned the corner near my house, the familiar road leading me back to the same worn-out place I dreaded returning to. My mind was already preparing for whatever mood my dad would be in when I got there. Drunk again, no doubt. I could already smell the cheap liquor from the door, even though I was still blocks away.

As I walked, I passed by one of the houses I always found myself looking at, even though I tried not to. The soft glow from the living room windows spilled out onto the street, and through the thin curtains, I saw them — the family inside. They were sitting around their dining table, laughing, smiling, passing food to one another. It was like something out of a commercial or a scene from a movie. The kind of family I'd never had.

I felt a tightness in my chest. Envy, mixed with something more painful. Bitterness? Regret? I wasn't even sure anymore. I slowed down for a second, watching them, the warmth from their home spilling out, so different from the coldness waiting for me.

"If only..." I muttered under my breath. If only I had a family like that, maybe things would be different. Maybe I'd come home to smiles instead of slurred words and bruises. Maybe my life wouldn't feel like this endless cycle of work, survival, and guilt.

I clenched my fists and hurried on before they noticed me staring. I didn't want their pity. I didn't need it. But I couldn't shake the feeling of being an outsider, looking into a life I'd never know.

The house was just around the corner now. When I arrived at the front door, something felt off. The lights were off, which was unusual. Normally, even if my dad was passed out on the couch, the lights would still be on. I paused for a moment, my hand resting on the cold doorknob, and took a deep breath before turning it.