𝑼𝒏𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒏 (𝑒𝑛𝑔.) [𝑟. 𝑙𝑢𝑝𝑖𝑛]

6

Fortunately, the first week passed without any further incidents, and I had easily made up for the points I had lost with the other professors. I just wanted to go back home, back to Valerie and Gale. At least there I didn't have to pretend, and the two of them accepted me as I was.

On the night from Friday to Saturday, I wandered through the castle again. I had no particular destination, but my feet took me to the statue of the one-eyed witch. Could I risk sneaking out of the castle? A trip to the Hog's Head sounded so tempting.

I pulled out my wand, whispered the spell, and climbed down the secret passage. The way to Hogsmeade was long, and with every step my throat tightened further. It was the fear of not getting out of a situation so easily, the fear of getting stuck. Finally, I came out in the basement of Honeydukes. It smelled of all kinds of sweets, but I didn't stop to look for something sweet.  I left the shop as quickly and quietly as I could, just to mingle with the people there.

Hogsmeade at night was quite magical. Numerous small lights illuminated the main paths, there was always music somewhere and alcohol was much cheaper than during the day. However, you should avoid the usual pubs, such as the Three Broomsticks, as this is where the professors from Hogwarts often enjoyed their evenings. Getting caught there was like being kicked out of Hogwarts. In the Hog's Head, or in the pub that was at the very end of Hogsmeade, you rarely met anyone from Hogwarts.

That night I was drawn to the nameless pub, so far away from the hustle and bustle. "Good evening," greeted a witch who still lived in the seventies, by the looks of her. I nodded vaguely and looked around the bar. No one I knew. Perfect. "I'd have a beer."  I said to the witch and sat down at a table a little further back where I could see everything. There was a telephone hanging on the wall next to the bar. Maybe that's why I loved it so much. It was a little piece of home in this crazy world.

The door swung open as I was drinking my second beer. A figure, dressed entirely in black, entered the pub. Its face was hidden under a heavy hood. "Vodka. The whole bottle," the figure shouted at the waitress, and shortly afterwards my blood froze in my veins. A very blurry memory appeared in my mind's eye, and the distorted voice in it matched that of the stranger. Where did I know this voice from? Why did it seem so familiar? The figure threw the hood off its face and gray-blue eyes found mine and the memory became clearer.

_"... even if it means that I lose two children... you have to get them to safety..."
"I'll look after her, mother. I promise"_

The beer bottle fell from my shaking hand and shattered on the wooden floor. I had never been able to remember the time before the children's home in Liverpool. So why did a memory from before come up right now?

"Have you seen a ghost, dear?" The waitress made the mess disappear with her magic wand, but I could only stare at the stranger. Without responding to her, I stood up and went to him. Shock crept across his face. "Irene?" his voice barely audible, he reached out a hand to me. "Alina." I said quietly and he let his hand fall. A sad smile crept across his face. "You don't remember me." "Who are you?" I asked. "Go back to the castle, you'll be safer there than out here." was the answer.

But the truth was that I didn't want to go, I wanted answers. "Who are you?" I asked again. "Don't make me take away your memory of this. Go to the castle, Alina."

_"I'll find you again, Irene. I promise. And then I'll tell you everything you want to know, but you have to promise me that you won't hate me because I'm leaving you alone from here on out--"_

"I don't hate you," I mumbled. My head hurt and I felt sick. Was the beer bad? Did someone slip something in it without me noticing? My vision went black and my knees gave way...

For days I was on autopilot, mentally absent and not sleeping. Potions, pills and alcohol kept me awake enough to get through class. Spells covered up my dark circles under my eyes, I spoke more slowly than usual to disguise how drunk and tired I actually was.

Luckily there were others in detention so Remus didn't have time to look at me more closely.

A week had passed since I had fainted into the arms of this stranger. A week since I hadn't been sober and was more homesick than I had been in a long time. On Saturday night I couldn't stand being in my dorm any longer and went to the only person I trusted in this accursed castle: Remus.

"Out so late?"  he asked after opening the door. "It was a choice between you and more alcohol," I mumbled indistinctly, but he understood me from his face. "Come in." He let me into his office and pointed to the sofa in front of the fireplace. Exhausted as I was, I plopped down on it. "How much did you drink?" "I stopped counting on Monday night." Remus crouched down in front of me and took my hands in his. I wanted to start crying. "I just want to go home." Under normal circumstances, I would have been embarrassed to sound like a little, hurt child, but right now nothing was normal and I didn't give a damn. My vision blurred with tears that I held back with iron determination.

Remus pulled me into a hug that offered an illusion of comfort and safety. "Sleep if you want... I'll stay with you."  he murmured into my hair and I fought against myself with all my might. I didn't want to lie crying in his arms, and I didn't want to sleep either. And yet I drifted further and further into dreamland before it swallowed me up.

Sun shone in my face. Wait... sun? I opened my eyes and looked out of a large window into the bright light. Where the hell was I? This wasn't my dormitory, because down in the dungeon the sun never shone. Confused and with a terrible headache, I sat up and looked around the room. On the small table was a glass of water and a potion. Carefully I stood up and read the note that was lying next to it.

>>For the headache.<<

I slowly remembered where I was and who I had fallen asleep with. My face got hot. I quickly poured the potion into the glass of water and drank it all. The headache faded and it was so much easier to think. I went in search of the bathroom, where I washed my face with ice-cold water. I looked just as tired as I felt, so I pulled the charms back up so that no one else could see.

"Good morning." Remus leaned in the doorway of his bedroom. "Are you feeling better?" "At least I'm sober again," I replied and picked up my jacket. "Let Poppy check you out, she has better potions." "Do you know what the best medicine is? Fresh air and a visit to Hagrid." I waited for him to clear the way, but he didn't move a millimeter.

"Are you going to tell me what threw you off track?" Remus looked at me with a mixture of curiosity and concern. "I'm still mad at you for the point deduction and the detention, so why should I tell you anything?" I fully expected that he wouldn't ask any more questions, but obviously I was wrong in my assessment. A few steps later he was standing in front of me and forced me to look at him with one hand on my chin. "You only have yourself to blame for that, Lina. So, do I have to ask again, or should I borrow some Veritas Serum from Snape?"

"I don't want to talk about it," I snapped at him. It would have been easy to push him away from me, but my head wasn't fully awake yet, so my heart took control. "Then you don't have to come to me next time when you're drunk." Remus let go of me and folded his arms. "Don't worry, I rarely make the same mistake twice."  I took advantage of the moment to almost flee back to the Slytherin common room.

Stupid, stupid heart. Why did you have to choose this kind of man?