Downfall of the nation's hero

Chapter 10

Ren continues to avoid me even during breakfast. We're officially back to square one, I guess. So much for 'I would always choose you'.

"What did those scrambled eggs do to you, Mattie?" Sophie starts messing around. "You've barely even touched them and don't let me start on that empty look you've been giving them the whole time we've been here."

Hailee chuckles at that. "Sophie's right tho," she then joins the conversation, "you haven't been yourself for a while now. Maybe you're sick, are you feeling well?"

I fight so hard not to roll my eyes at her. She means well, Audra. That's what friends are for, they care for one another.

"Oh trust me," Sophie laughs, "she's not sick." Then her eyes challenge me. Don't you fucking dare, Soph. The corner of her mouth twitches. She's going to say it. "She's in love."

Hailee's jaw drops and her eyes shoot to me. I get up from the table.

"I'm not Jesus fucking Christ!" I deny the accusations. "Fuck you, Soph."

I pace out of the the common room as quickly as possible but someone's footsteps follow me. You better apologize, Sophie, but I'm not going back inside. When the person behind me reaches for my shoulder, I turn around to yell at them.

"What has gotten into you, Sophie, are you fucking..." I don't get to finish cursing her out, because instead of Sophie's deep blue eyes, I find myself staring at those sweet chocolate ones that get me so lost. Ren's arm is still firmly fixed on my shoulder and my skin burns where her fingers are touching me. The desire inside of me is making my mind scream, but I can't succumb to it.

"Well well well..." I try to sound as poisonous as I can. "Look who we have here."

Ren's pupils get wide. "What's that supposed to mean, Audra?"

"Done ignoring me?" I spit out another question that's meant to hurt her. "Because if this is your way of 'always choosing me', then I don't want that."

I see the moment it clicks in Ren's head. "Ooh, so that's what this is all about!" She laughs. "Well, Audra, yes, I would always choose you, but the thing is, that you wouldn't do the same."

I try to object but she stops me. "And before you make a fool of yourself, no, it really is true. Think about it for a second. If I asked you to tell the world about us, would you do as I wish, or would you choose to do what your mother says? That would be breaking up with me, by the way." She then comes closer to me, blocking every single way out. "So yes, I have been avoiding you this morning, because I thought that's what you wanted. Or would you like it more if I kissed you right before everyone there, Audra?"

That's a low blow, but at least now I understand why she left the way she did yesterday. And I hate that she's right. I'd love nothing more than to yell at her that it's not true, but it is. My silence only confirms it for her; for that, I'm rewarded with the most heartbreaking look her eyes are capable of. Ren lets go of my shoulder and starts walking away. I don't know what has gotten into me for a split second, but I grab her by her wrist and pull her closer again.

"Don't leave," I whisper to her, "please."

She doesn't pull away, but her body language is screaming that she's uncomfortable. "What do you want, Audra?" Her soft voice asks me.

There are two possible answers. I want you to get out of my head because you've been haunting me for the past few weeks every single second of the day and I want to go back to things not being complicated between us. The other possible answer is...

"You." I tell her. "I want you, Ren."

I expect her to slam me into the wall and start kissing me, but she holds herself back.