co-written with dealk1_2002 and patty_parker60
cross-posted to archiveofourown.org
When Reade kissed her and she rejected him, Reade had no way of knowing that Zapata's reason for that include past trauma (beginning in childhood) and her fear that she will 'ruin him' as she has others...she goes to him hoping that he hears her out and that they can re-start
"A word, Reade?" said Zapata from the doorway of his office.
"Sure."
[Darling...
There's something that you don't know - I said some things before: (I'm) not so sure anymore, I lose Give me something that you can't choose - We've been lost in this show: We've mistaken the foe Give me something my heart can choose-Guess you stole the unknown: Brought me something I know, didn't you:
I'M IN NEED OF YOUR LOVE...I'M IN NEED OF YOUR LOVE...IS IT THE MEANING OF LOVE...I'M IN NEED OF YOUR LOVE
I'M IN NEED OF YOUR LOVE...I'M IN NEED OF YOUR LOVE...IS IT THE MEANING OF LOVE...I'M IN NEED OF YOUR LOVE]
"I'm gonna close the door...this isn't fodder for the entire office." She seated herself in the comfortable chair in front of his desk."Last night...that...that wasn't what I meant to say...when I pulled away..."
"You said 'Reade we're friends-nothing more'...that's what you said but didn't mean to say?"
"I wanted so badly to say 'do that again, Reade: kiss me and strip me and FUCK ME'...I was...so CLOSE to saying that - I WAS-"
Reade stretches elaborately and issues a deep yawn: "Can we wrap this up, please Zapata? It's been a day."
Wiping her eyes Tasha says "I understand that you're angry and hurt, Reade-eso lo se muy bien but I panicked; I-I FROZE...that kiss was so amazing: didn't you notice that I lingered before I said what I said? My heart was racing, my pulse rate was up...and I ran. I ran because life has taught me that I never get what I want: that having something good happen to me was a waste of time. I...I told you a little about my childhood and I held back a lot...A LOT ..." She stifles a sob and Reade wants to reach over and embrace her...but the sting of rejection is still a bitter aftertaste for him...
[Please me
I don't need all your fears there's something you lose - When we love Please me: Heal my wound again, Look how we fell tonight When we've loved - Give me something that you can't choose: Maybe higher we'll grow, we'll disappear in a blow, I'M IN NEED OF YOUR LOVE...I'M IN NEED OF YOUR LOVE...IS IT THE MEANING OF LOVE...I'M IN NEED OF YOUR LOVE I'M IN NEED OF
YOUR LOVE...]
"You held back " is the best that he could manage. "What you told me was...unbelievable enough...I wish I knew...I feel like an ASS for the way I've treated you."
"NO. It isn't your fault...I was scared of how you'd react if you knew ALL of it. It...it HAUNTS ME, Reade. It overwhelms me and I don't know how to overcome it. I...never learned how to LIVE, Reade. If I could just -l-learn how to do that...please, I need your help to do that."
"What can I do?" he wants to know. "Tell me how to help you."
She smiled weakly and gazes at him through a thin veil of long wavy locks partially covering her eyes. "Forgive me. Really forgive me IN YOUR HEART ...for running from you that other night, and for the years before that. I want to BE HAPPY, Reade you make you happy. I want to learn how to live and love and be normal. I ...wanna do that with you. Can I do that with you? Because ME TOO: I LOVE YOU TOO."
"This is what you really want? You'll wanna be sure before you answer because...because if I give myself to you and we don't make it because you change your mind there will be NO MORE US-in any capacity."
YOU ARE READING
Blindspot TV-Running Up That Hill
Fanfiction'Never yield to remorse, but at once tell yourself: remorse would simply mean adding to the first act of stupidity a second.'-Friedrich Nietzsche AU of the episode where Tasha is captured by Reade and Keaton in Mexico and returned to The CIRG under...
