Beyond the Darkness

Part 4

Yuki left the hospital that evening, his heart heavy with the weight of Hana's words. He wanted to stay by her side, but the doctors said she needed rest and observation. They promised to call if anything changed. Still, the thought of leaving her felt wrong, but there wasn't much he could do for her at the moment.

As he walked back to his car, he felt like he was in a daze. The relief that she was alive, coupled with the anguish of knowing how close he came to losing her, crushed him. He couldn't stop thinking about what had driven her to that point. How had she hidden so much pain?

He pulled up outside Hana's apartment a while later. The last place he'd seen her conscious. The image of her lying on the floor haunted him. He hesitated as he reached the door, the spare key trembling in his hand.

The apartment was quiet—too quiet, like a house of forgotten memories. The air felt thick, heavy with the sadness that had been hiding in the corners for who knows how long. He stepped inside, flicking on the light, and immediately felt the overwhelming sense of Hana's presence everywhere.

It was clean, neat as always, but something felt... off. As Yuki walked through the small living room, he noticed small details—empty cups of tea left on the counter, papers scattered around the desk in disarray. This wasn't like Hana at all. She was always so organized.

His eyes wandered to the desk, where her laptop sat half-closed, and beside it, a pile of journals. Not just any journals—diaries. The ones she must have kept hidden from him, the way she hid her emotions.

He sighed deeply, guilt washing over him again. He had only scratched the surface with the one diary he'd read, but now, looking at the stack of notebooks, he realized how much darkness she'd been battling alone.

What else have you been hiding from me, Hana?

With a shaking hand, Yuki picked up one of the journals and opened it to a random page. The handwriting was messy, rushed. He skimmed the page, his heart sinking with every word:

"Today felt harder than most. I couldn't get out of bed again. Every breath felt heavy, and I wished more than anything that I could disappear. I smiled when Yuki texted me. I always smile when he does, but it only made me realize how much I'm failing him as a friend. He deserves better than someone like me. I'm tired of pretending I'm okay."

Yuki's chest tightened, and he had to sit down. Each page felt like a knife to his heart, revealing a side of Hana he had never known. She had been drowning in her own despair, and he had been completely unaware.

As he flipped through more pages, he came across something strange. Drawings, scattered among the pages of her thoughts. They weren't like her usual sketches; they were dark, chaotic lines forming unsettling shapes. Shadowy figures loomed over a small figure, like they were swallowing her whole. In others, there were images of cages, and a small figure curled up inside them. Each drawing made his skin crawl.

He moved to her bedroom, needing to clear his head. As soon as he walked in, his eyes caught something on her nightstand. A small box, plain and unassuming. He opened it carefully, and what he found inside sent a chill down his spine.

Inside the box were objects he didn't expect—small things, seemingly harmless at first. A handful of old photos of the two of them from high school, some dried flowers, and a small stuffed animal he remembered winning for her at a festival years ago. But beneath that were items that made his heart sink: A razor blade, tucked neatly in a cloth, and a bottle of pills.

He sat down on her bed, feeling like the air had been knocked out of him. He stared at the items, his mind spinning. She had been holding on to these things like lifelines, objects that seemed innocent but held a much darker meaning.

What had she been thinking when she reached for them? How close had she come to using them before he arrived that day? The thought of it made him feel physically sick.

As he sat there in the silence of her apartment, Yuki couldn't help but feel the crushing weight of failure. He had always been so focused on his career, on volleyball, and he never realized how much his best friend had been suffering right under his nose.

She had been the one to always check in on him, send him jokes, make sure he was okay, and yet, he had missed all the signs that she wasn't okay. She had been wearing her mask so well that he hadn't noticed the cracks.

"Yuki, I'm sorry."

Her last text echoed in his mind. What if he hadn't gotten that message? What if he hadn't rushed over when he did? The reality of how close he came to losing her shook him to his core.

He stood up, wiping his face, determination settling in his chest. He wasn't going to let her go through this alone anymore. He had failed her once, but he wouldn't fail her again.

Back at the hospital, Hana had fallen into a deep sleep, her body finally giving into the exhaustion of the day. Yuki sat by her bedside, staring at her pale face, her breathing steady but weak.

He gently reached out, taking her hand in his. It felt fragile, like if he squeezed too hard, she would break. But he didn't care. He wasn't going to let her slip away, not like this.

"I'm here, Hana," he whispered, his voice breaking. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise, I'll never let you face this alone again. We'll fight this together."

As the machines beeped quietly around them, Yuki felt a sense of resolve settle over him. He couldn't change the past, but he could be here for her now. He would make sure she knew that her life mattered—more than anything.