09. Between Desire and Doubt

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                         •⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•Jeonghan closed the door behind him, the familiar sound of the latch clicking echoing in the stillness of his apartment

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                   •⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•
Jeonghan closed the door behind him, the familiar sound of the latch clicking echoing in the stillness of his apartment. The moment he stepped inside, the weight of the evening pressed down on him, leaving him feeling heavier than before. He leaned against the door, taking a moment to collect his thoughts, but the image of Seungcheol laughing with the girl in red loomed in his mind.

Kicking off his shoes, he trudged into the living room, running a hand through his hair in frustration. The vibrant atmosphere of the party felt like a distant memory now, replaced by the suffocating silence of his home. “Why do I even care?” he muttered to himself, glancing around the room as if looking for answers.

Jeonghan moved to the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of water, but it did little to quench the tumultuous emotions swirling inside him. Each sip reminded him of the laughter and joy he had witnessed only hours ago, while he had stood on the sidelines, feeling like an outsider.

As he leaned against the counter, his mind raced. Seungcheol had always been someone he admired from afar, and tonight had only intensified his feelings. The way the girl leaned in closer to Seungcheol, her laughter ringing out with an ease he felt he could never match, made his stomach churn with jealousy.

“What am I doing?” he whispered, frustration bubbling over. He wished he could just approach Seungcheol, but he didn’t even know how to start. The thought of stepping out of his comfort zone made his heart race, and the fear of rejection loomed larger than the girl’s taunts.

With a sudden urge to distract himself, Jeonghan retrieved his phone and scrolled through his contacts. His fingers hesitated over Seungcheol’s name, the temptation to reach out battling with the doubt that held him back. Instead, he settled on Joshua’s name, hoping to vent his frustrations.

“Hey, can we talk?” he typed, his fingers moving quickly.

A moment later, Joshua replied: Of course! Want me to come over?

“Yes, please,” Jeonghan texted back, relief flooding him. He appreciated how Joshua was always there when he needed him.

When the doorbell rang, Jeonghan’s heart lifted a little, and he opened the door to find Joshua standing there, his face bright with enthusiasm.

“Hey!” Joshua greeted, stepping inside with his usual energy. He paused, taking in Jeonghan’s downtrodden expression. “What happened? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Jeonghan sighed, motioning for Joshua to sit beside him on the couch. “It was a disaster,” he admitted, his voice thick with frustration. “I can’t stop thinking about Seungcheol and that girl. I feel like I’m losing him, and it’s driving me crazy.”

Joshua frowned, concern etched on his face as he settled in. “What did she say?”

Jeonghan rubbed his temples, trying to calm his racing thoughts. “She kept saying things like how I can’t compete with her, how she’s the best. It felt like she was just trying to get under my skin, and I... I don’t know what to do.”

Joshua looked incredulous. “That’s ridiculous. You’re so much more than a pretty face, Jeonghan. You have talent, and you’re kind—why should you let her words get to you?”

“I know that!” Jeonghan snapped, frustration spilling over. “But when I see Seungcheol with her, it’s like I’m invisible. I don’t even know if he notices me at all.”

“Do you really think Seungcheol is that shallow?” Joshua asked, raising an eyebrow. “He’s not just going to toss aside everything you are over some girl trying to put you down.”

“Maybe he doesn’t even see me like that,” Jeonghan admitted, his voice dropping to a whisper. “We’ve never even talked. I just... I keep hoping that maybe he’ll notice me, but then I see him with her, and it feels like I’m just wasting my time.”

“Then you have to make him notice you!” Joshua urged, leaning forward. “You can’t let this girl win. Be yourself and show him who you are.”

Taking a deep breath, Jeonghan nodded slowly. “You’re right. I can’t just let this go on. I need to find a way to talk to him, to show him I’m worth his attention.”

“Exactly! Just be honest. You’ll never know if you don’t try,” Joshua encouraged. “And remember, I’m here for you every step of the way.”

As they talked, Jeonghan felt a flicker of hope ignite within him. He could do this. He wouldn’t let insecurity consume him. He would confront his feelings head-on, determined to find a way to connect with Seungcheol before it was too late.

“Thanks, Joshua,” he said, genuinely grateful. “I really needed this.”

“Anytime, my friend,” Joshua replied with a grin. “Now, let’s find something to do to distract you. How about a movie?”

Jeonghan laughed, the tension in his shoulders easing as they moved to pick a film. As they settled in, he felt the familiar comfort of friendship wash over him, but a part of him remained restless. He knew that the real battle lay ahead, and he was ready to face it.

        ──────⊹⊱✫⊰⊹──────

A/N: Jihan never beating the soulmate allegations 💗

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A/N: Jihan never beating the soulmate allegations 💗

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