MaNan: It was love

Part one

London, England

I woke up when my alarm rang. Through all these years I have developed this habit of getting up early to do 'riyas'. Well this is what Amms has always wanted me to do. Its been four years since she left me because God just can't let me live peacefully with the people I love. God always has to take them away from me. This is something I don't want to dwell up on early morning. I should get up now.
I get up and as usual gaze this very large portrait of my family-my chacha-chachi, my amma-Appa, my brother rishabh, me and Amms, on the wall opposite to my bed. This is the only picture we have together. We clicked it when we visited amma, chacha and chachi in India, on the same vacation me and rishabh lost our parents in a car accident.
Nandini let it be. You should get up now. Every morning thinking about same things won't help.
I went to my music room and selected guitar to play today. Over these years the other thing that I've learned is to play numerous music instruments.
I played guitar and sang the song which I really connect to. The song is khwahishein from the movie Heroine.
I was just singing the second para when I heard the house's bell ring.
I wondered who was there on the door early this morning. I rushed to the door and saw a Middle Aged woman dressed in her exercise clothes.
I can clearly gather that she must have been out on her early morning jog but she isn't someone I really know.
I asked,"yes! How may I help you?"
The lady replied,"hey I was just passing by and heard you singing. You've got such a beautiful voice and you seem a professional too."
I was shocked, I mean its not that its the first time anyone has complimented me but its usually people at the institute who have complimented me. The situation was really weird.
I said,"uhhh. Thank you mam. I'm glad you find me good."
She then exclaimed,"good!.... Girl you were awesome. Hey I've got something for you. Wait."
I was confused and it probably showed on my face too. She gave me a pamphlet and said," you should try for this audition which is being conducted in your city next week."
Next week? Is it the same audition which I thought it was? I slowly opened the pamphlet and to my worst fears, yes it was the same.
The lady continued,"you know I'm Swati Verma, their manager. You know fab5 na?"
Fab5. How can I not fab5. I can feel my knees getting weak. I can feel tears forming up in my eyes. I had to control myself.
I gathered all my courage and said,"thank you for your concern mam. I really don't want to offend you but I can't audition for this. I've never wanted to get into all this."
Well this is the hot topic in London right now. Fab5. Fab5 was a rage, not only in Indians but throughout the world, even in the non-Indian communities. People were just crazy for them. Now they were searching for a talented singer with whom they can collaborate for their new album. I agree this is every struggling singer's dream come true but all these years I've created a little world of my own and I don't want this fame now. I'm happy in my small world.
My train of thoughts were disturbed by swati. She said,"I know you're aware about the fact that this will change your life but I can gather from your eyes that there's some really deep reason behind you holding back for this."
I really have to get away from this. I said,"mam I'll let you know about it."
I said this for the sake of misguiding her. She gave me her visiting card and I closed the door.
Of course, I won't call her back. I can't get back there where I was four years ago. I stood there and heard swati talking on the phone. I heard her saying,"manik you won't believe what I saw right now."
Manik. Manik. Manik.
Series of images from my past starting playing like a slideshow in front of my eyes. I no longer can stop myself. I ran to my room and started crying my lungs out.