Sun Kisses - Miami Heat

Chapter Five

CHOCOLATE CAKE

Frustrated, I lower the controller and put it down in front of our beanbags. Malin raises his arms in the air in victory and grins at me.
Idiot.
He's just so happy about his victory because I usually always win. This is a new feeling for him. But I can't really blame him either, because I'm a bad winner.
Highly unlikeable, in fact. Sometimes he kicks me out of his room when I get carried away with my victory celebration.
But I'm distracted - I've been distracted all day. I'm just not focused, which may be because it's Friday.
Most people love Fridays because the weekend is coming up and they can finally relax. But they hate Mondays.
For me, it's the other way around.
Fridays are the worst days.
When Malin has finished jumping and clapping, he hands me the glass of water from his dresser and I gratefully accept it. "You need anything else, buddy?"
I shake my head.
I take a few sips and then stand up, take my phone off the dresser and check for new messages.
My sister has sent me a selfie of April and her in pink pyjamas, but I leave the message on read and don't reply. Just like always.
She still can't resist letting me in on everything.
"What are you doing in the next few days?" I ask him casually as I put my cell phone away again and look at the TV monitor, which lights up brightly and displays the NETFLIX symbol. Malin runs his fingers through his dark hair, tosses the remote to me and I flop down on his little couch, which is behind the beanbags and offers a perfect view of the TV.
Yawning, I put my feet up on the low table and start looking through the suggestions.
"Haven't got anything firm planned yet, man. How about you?"
My lips twist into a small grin. "Heath and I are planning to go through the weekend with training. Are you in?"
"Just send me the exact times later and I'll let you know," he replies and sits down next to me. "Knowing you, you won't be spending much time at home at the weekend, will you?"
No, probably not. Keeping me at home on a weekend is like confining a tiger to a small apartment.
It just doesn't work and is pure torture.
"You know I don't like being alone with women," I say, reaching into the bowl on his coffee table, which is filled with sweets.
"You call April and your sister women? They're fashion-driven, bitchy little girls." He laughs at his words but I can't. He has never recognized the problem why I don't like being at home. Maybe he just doesn't want to understand - I don't really care.
We let his show run for a while and talk a bit more about football, our coach and the upcoming games before I decide to go home slowly and face my family. If I want to get up early tomorrow, then I can't stay out too late today to get as much sleep as possible.
Malin and I have been friends for many years, even if we fight and argue from time to time, we actually get on very well. Maybe we bond a little over sport, but I also know that Malin doesn't understand everything that goes on inside me. I can talk to him about a lot of things, but not everything.
I have Heath for that and I can talk to him about anything - even his last bowel movement.
Malin and I enter the kitchen so I can grab a drink before I go home. The glass door between the kitchen and living room is pushed open and I hear laughing voices and a TV on. Ignoring it, I fill a glass with passion fruit juice and take a few sips as I watch Malin poke his head through the doorway and lumber into the living room.
I throw a plastic chopping board at him, which skilfully bounces against his back and he turns back to me, upset. "Hey - what are you doing?"
"It was an impulse, it was fun," I joke and empty the glass. He raises an eyebrow and shakes his head slowly before pointing behind him through the door. "My sister has her friends over."
For a moment, my heart stops, knowing that there are probably three girls sitting behind that wall watching a movie. And at the thought of this one particular girl, my throat feels dry as dust again, even though I've just gulped down a whole glass.
I'm just about to turn away and leave to avoid an argument with Aurelia, like the one in the canteen today, and let them have their fun, when Autumn suddenly stands in the kitchen and looks at us in irritation.
"Why are you standing here in silence? You're creepy."
I turn my gaze away from her and look nervously at my hands, but try to cover it up. To her, it probably looks more like she's too uninteresting for me to exchange a word with her.
"We were just getting something small. Are you having fun?" Malin turns to her and while I count the boxes on the place mats, I listen to their conversation. "Yes, thanks. Even if Levin can't even keep his mouth shut when we're watching a movie." Malin laughs softly and in the corner of my eye I see him rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, even though he finds it a thousand times easier to talk to girls than I do.
Especially because Autumn and Aurelia are often here.
"I heard that!" Levin yells from the living room and before I know it, Autumn is reaching for the chocolate cake in the oven and Malin and I follow her to the others. I fix my eyes on Malin's shoulders as he walks perfectly in front of me so I don't have to look anywhere else. But I don't miss Aurelia's annoyed whisper when she sees me.
Yes, I could imagine better things than being here right now.
I need a few seconds to tighten my shoulders and take a deep breath. Then I dare to look across the room. Aurelia is sitting next to Levin and Malena on the couch, her legs bent and her Converse shoes on the floor in front of her. Her dark hair is slightly wavy, just like this morning, and reaches down to her hips, but she plays quietly with the ends of it, never once lifting her eyes to look at us.
And no matter how uncomfortable I feel, once I turn my attention to her, I can't take my eyes off her. Her full lips are moist - I assume from the cold Coke in front of her and her long, thick eyelashes give her face a beautiful curve.
I stand by Malin and watch as Autumn places the steaming chocolate cake on the table and begins to cut it into small pieces.
"We're not giving you anything, Malin. Get out of here," Malena says to her big brother and makes a waving motion, but Malin is not deterred. "My house, my kitchen, my cake too. You'll be able to handle one piece." I notice how he gives Aurelia a cursory glance and she returns it with a tight smile.
Frowning, I lean against the wall and concentrate on the cake again. "It's rude not to offer friends a piece."
As if I had provoked a reaction from Aurelia, my stomach tingles excitedly as she turns her eyes to me indignantly and snorts. "How lucky we're not friends." She puts a piece on a plate and hands it to Malin as she continues to look at me, her eyes narrowing to slits. "Idiotic pains in the ass, don't get a piece."
I narrow my eyes too, tilt my head and cross my arms in front of my chest. I am fully back in my role.
No insecurity scratches the surface and no nervousness is reflected on my face.
I'm back to being the Damian she loathes so much. And that's for the best.
"I'm pretty sure you have no idea if I'm really an idiotic pain in the ass. You can say a lot of things, darling, but the fact is that I'm leaving the room with a piece of this cake." She wrinkles her nose in the air indignantly and looks up at me, but continues to walk backwards to drop back onto the couch. She feels safer around her friends, she always has.
"You do what you want anyway, no matter what other people say," she says snappishly and takes a piece herself. I know what she's hinting at. And I'm happy to go along with it.
"Why exactly is that a bad quality now? At least I have the strength to get my own way." Which is absolutely not true. But it seems that way.
If I really did what I really wanted to do, Aurelia and I wouldn't be bickering right now. Then I wouldn't have just run away after the party. From her. And from myself.
Sighing, Malena stands up and comes towards us. "Okay, that's enough now. Time for you to go." She pushes us through the doorway and waves goodbye with a fake smile before pulling the glass door shut.
I was wrong. I left the room without a piece of cake.
I know it's best to behave like this in front of Aurelia. To show the Damian she knows and loathes. Because if I show her who I really am and how I really think, then I would never stand a chance.
Because then she would haunt me even in the deepest shadows of myself and that is too much. I can't deal with that.
She'd rather hate me than me taking that risk.
Being alone is always better than being surrounded by women.