E C H O E | h.s. Fanfiction

*Chapter Five*

The church was too quiet, the kind of quiet that digs into your skin and makes your whole body hurt. I sat at the front, my sunglasses hiding my swollen eyes, the rim of my black silk blazer scratching against my neck as I shifted in my seat. Every breath felt like a weight pressing on my chest. I could feel Luca beside me, his hand still holding mine, even his grip couldn't pull me out of the numbness that had settled in.

The choir's voices washed over the room like a soft wave, but instead of soothing, it felt like they were scraping against my nerves. Each hymn felt like a farewell, each note a reminder that Harry was really gone. The air was thick, suffocating, and I could barely bring myself to look up, let alone face the coffin in front of me.

I wasn't ready to say goodbye to him.

Liam stepped up to the podium first. His hands trembled as he spoke, his voice cracking at points, and for a moment, I almost wished he would stop. It hurt too much to hear someone else speak about Harry. The Harry they knew wasn't the one I had loved,the one who had destroyed me and rebuilt me, over and over again. Liam's words were gentle, full of memories of a brotherhood that ran deeper than blood, all I could think about was how different their Harry was from mine. The Harry who left.

Niall came up next . His speech was even shorter, and his tears did the talking more than his words. His grief was so raw, so unfiltered, that I felt a pang of guilt. I hadn't cried like that. I hadn't let myself.

Louis followed, his voice a low rasp. He looked lost, and Lottie had to steady him with her hand. His speech was brief, almost too brief, like he couldn't bear to let himself say what needed to be said. It was as if the weight of the day was crushing him, too, and I felt that same pressure, like it would push us all into the ground.

The choir resumed, their voices like a slow wave dragging us all deeper into the pain. I swallowed hard, trying to keep it together. Every word they sang felt like a piece of my heart breaking off, and I didn't know how much longer I could hold out. I clutched Luca's hand tighter, grounding myself in his presence, though the numbness persisted.

I stood up, unsure if I had the strength to do this, but knowing I had to. The room seemed to blur as I made my way to the podium, the weight of everyone's eyes pressing down on me. My legs felt weak, like they might give out at any second, but I forced myself forward. When I reached the front, I hesitated, gripping the sides of the podium. The coffin was right there, so close. I couldn't look at it. I couldn't look at him.

Taking a deep breath, I removed my sunglasses and let the silence stretch out, the weight of the moment heavier than anything I had ever felt before.

"I don't really know what to say," I began, my voice cracking slightly as it echoed through the room.

"I don't know how to say goodbye to my person actually," I began, my voice shaky but determined to push through. "I don't think I ever could. He was my life. Every day, every memory... they're all tied to him."

I paused, swallowing hard as the lump in my throat grew heavier. "When you lose someone, it feels like the world should stop. But it doesn't. And that's the hardest part. The world keeps spinning, people keep moving, but the person you love... gone. And you're just left there, standing still, wondering how you're supposed to go on without them."

My eyes burned as I looked at the coffin, my heart breaking all over again. "Harry wasn't perfect, but he was.. he was everything. And now... I don't know how to exist without him."

A tear slipped down my cheek, but I didn't wipe it away. "He was kind in ways most people never saw, and he had this incredible ability to make everything feel like an adventure, even on the worst days. He made me laugh when I thought I couldn't, and he held me together when I felt like falling apart."