The Untouchable Queen

Ep • 15 The Diary

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I loved you enough to lose myself

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I will never fall in love: I made a promise to myself long ago.

After hearing all those cliché love stories and witnessing how marriages tend to unravel into disappointment, I knew one thing for sure—love isn’t for me. I want everything in life, except the mess that comes with falling for someone.

Right now, I’m in college, focused on attending classes, studying hard, and scoring perfect marks. I’m chasing a PhD in economics, and that’s my dream. Everything was going smoothly until I started hearing this name everywhere—Arsyn Knight.

At first, I couldn’t care less about this guy. But honestly? His name follows me everywhere I go. It’s like an annoying echo. The girls in my class are obsessed, completely head over heels for him.

He’s a singer, apparently. But why does that make him so special? I mean, plenty of artists are out there, but none get under my skin like him.

Today was exhausting. I was sitting at my desk, minding my business, when some girls stormed up to me, all fired up. Guess what?

They were mad because someone overheard me saying I hated Arsyn Knight. Imagine that! I was so irritated with their nonsense that I just said it—“I hate him.” And that set them off. We ended up arguing until a teacher came over and broke us apart. Turns out, they’re all die-hard fans of this Arsyn guy.

Honestly, it's crazy. How could anyone lose their mind over someone they don’t even know? And honestly, Arsyn Knight didn’t even deserve my hate—he wasn’t worth it. But now, after all this, I really hate him.

And as if that wasn’t enough, the one friend I thought I could rely on turned out to be an Arsyn fan, too. It’s like the whole university is under some kind of spell.

Did all the boys in this world die, or what? I can’t figure out what he has that makes everyone so obsessed. I’ve never seen anything like this.

It’s been three months of this now. I’ve been trying to avoid the madness, but it’s impossible. Exams kept me busy for a while, which was a relief, but the moment they ended, the Arsyn fanbase seemed bigger and louder than ever.

These girls don’t just like him—they want to marry him. How does that even make sense? How can you dream of marrying someone you’ve never met?

One of my friends—well, ex-friend now—tried to convince me to watch his videos, listen to his songs, and give him a chance. She swore I’d change my mind. I wondered how long I could tolerate watching him before I lost my patience. But for some reason, I accepted the challenge.

Stupid move, right?

A few days ago, I started watching him. Honestly? He’s not bad… but not that great either. He’s average at best. He sings well enough, I’ll give him that, and I suppose he treats his fans kindly.

I have to admit, he really knows how to make his fans feel special. Maybe that’s why they love him so much.

But me? I’m still not convinced.

To be honest, I’ve never felt stressed before, but this time was different. I found myself looking for something to lift my spirits, and for the first time, I watched Arsyn Knight’s interview.